A Quote by Nilo Cruz
I feel like I have to be a walking encyclopedia - I constantly have to be explaining myself - especially when I do table work or when I'm talking to a dramaturg about, you know, the culture, but also what I'm trying to do as a writer in this particular play. You know, you have to protect yourself too.
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You know, I don't like talking about music very much. I have quite the hard time explaining myself.
We're sitting in here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talking about practice. I mean, listen, we're talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, we talking about practice. Not a game. Not, not... Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it's my last. Not the game, but we're talking about practice, man. I mean, how silly is that?.. And we talking about practice. I know I supposed to be there. I know I'm supposed to lead by example... I know that... And I'm not... I'm not shoving it aside, you know, like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I do. I honestly do... But we're talking about practice man. What are we talking about? Practice? We're talking about practice, man.
I always tell writers that it's good to have an area of expertise. It's a really practical answer, I know, but know about science or about sports or about medicine, so you can work as a science writer or a sports writer. Don't just know about yourself.
I never like to play for myself, and that is why I don't own a grand piano. To play for yourself is like looking at yourself in a mirror. I like to practice; that is to work at a task. But to play there must be an audience. New things happen when you play for an audience. You don't know what will occur. You make discoveries with the music, and it is always the first time. It is an exchange, a communion.
If you want to do good research, it's important not to know too much. This almost sounds contradictory but really if you know too much and you get an idea, you will sort of talk yourself out of trying it because you figure it won't work. But if you know just the right amount and you get enthusiastic about your project, you go ahead, you do it and if you're lucky things'll work out.
I'm not the most talented writer in the world. I know that. But I also know that I'm disciplined, that I work my butt off, and that I make myself write as much as I can. Writer's block is a luxury I can't afford. I'm a professional writer, which means that I put my butt in the chair each day, and I write. Simple as that.
There's no way I'm not gonna have a gun, 'cause you just never know what'll go down in Atlanta. But I'd rather be able to protect myself and have the right, and not have to think about the consequences if I'm just trying to protect myself.
It is said that I'm distant and cold. I'm just someone who's very shy. I'm not comfortable doing interviews because I have to talk about myself. To talk about yourself, you have to know yourself pretty well and I feel like there are still some shades in me that I don't know about.
I'm always so nervous when I have to do interviews or be on 'The Tonight Show' or the 'Oprah' show, where I have to be myself. I don't know why that's such a big deal - being yourself. But for some reason, I feel good in a dark room talking to actors about acting, doing acting. I like sitting backstage watching people work.
At the beginning of my career as a writer, I felt I knew nothing of Chinese culture. I was writing about emotional confusion with my mother related to our different beliefs. Hers was based in family history, which I didn't know anything about. I always felt hesitant in talking about Chinese culture and American culture.
Teaching ... particularly in the 1990s, teaching what is far and away the dumbest generation in American history, is the same as walking up Broadway in Manhattan talking to yourself, except instead of eighteen people who hear you in the street talking to yourself, they're all in the room. They know, like, nothing.
I’m constantly in doubt about what I’m doing, I’m constantly tortured, and that’s why I say happiness is irrelevant. Happiness is for children and yuppies. I’m not striving for happiness, I’m trying to get some work done. And sometimes the best work is done under doubt. Constant rethinking, and reevaluating what you’re doing, working and working until you feel it’s finished. And that’s an interesting point too, that you’ve got to know when to stop. Sometimes there’s a magical moment when everything comes together.
I think a lot of the production process is always giving yourself, like what I call like escape routes, like, if this scene doesn't play, if we realize we've had too many dirty scenes in a row, and it's like, because you don't have the luxury when you're in the middle of shooting, to see how these scenes play all in a row, kind of, you know what I mean. So, like we're always trying to like have insurance policies on, ok, if that doesn't work, we can just jump to this thing.
When you model, there's no way you can't notice yourself. Do you know what I mean? Because you're constantly surrounded by people saying, 'Oh, she's too short, she's too skinny, she's this, she's whatever.' And you're right there. They're talking about you, and you're right there.
I just think that whole culture of hatred, and also feeling like it's your right to judge people when you don't know them, is really f***ed up. So I'm pleased I experienced that side of it, so I can learn to be a better person on the other side of it. I'm sure in the past I've been judgmental too ... Self esteem, that's something you've got to work on yourself. I know for me it's different day to day.
I have thought about the next steps, and you know, they still don't know that I can dance. They don't know it, and it's frustrating me because I feel that it's an edge that I have, and I'm not talking about I took this hip hop class, I'm talking about this is how people actually know me.
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