A Quote by Noma Dumezweni
At the very beginning, being a parent did impact how I go about this business.
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Being a parent is not just about how you treat your child; it's also about how you treat the other parent. If you treat that person with respect, that's fine, that's the way to go. But if you don't, you're not being the parent you could be.
My dad was very, very invested in image. He felt that as a black person, the thing you could control was how did you look, how did you dress, how did you sound, how did you smell, how did you act. All of that stuff that you could control would absolutely have a strong impact on your access.
The reason is that they define how I have gone about my business. I have trusted to intuition. I did it at the beginning. I do it even now. I have no idea how things might turn out, where in my writing I might go next.
The traditional paradigm of parenting has been very hierarchical, the parent knows best and very top down. Conscious parenting topples [this paradigm] on its head and creates this mutuality, this circularity where both parent and child serve each other and where in fact, perhaps, the child could be even more of a guru for the parent .... teaching the parent how the parent needs to grow, teaching the parent how to enter the present moment like only children know how to do.
It was extremely hard going from being a parent of one to a parent of three, because now all these instant decisions have to be made about how you balance out the time and attention between them.
Being a parent is a huge part of who I am, and of course I share that with other women. I'm not just a business woman. I'm my sons' mother and my husband's wife - although I never post about him on social media because he'd probably divorce me if I did! But I think by showing who I am as a mom and as a business owner, I show other women that we're all balancing those two worlds.
I can't imagine being a single parent or a single parent that doesn't have a lot of money. That's a big, huge impact on your life and your dynamic and everything - I mean, that's huge. It affects how much you have a break from just concentrating on just one other person in your life. It becomes so myopic that way, and more intense, probably.
The tone did take on a negativity that I didn't like and when you make the decision to go the other way as we did it very directly had an impact, you can see it with the tracking.
Being a parent is such a difficult business; you don't always get things right. And also, you don't want to be a perfect parent... You need people to be human, and part of it is imperfection.
We talked about how easy it was to make the mistake of anthropomorphizing animals, and projecting our own feelings and perceptions on to them, where they were inappropriate and didn't fit. We simply had no idea what it was like being an extremely large lizard, and neither for that matter did the lizard, because it was not self-conscious about being an extremely large lizard, it just got on with the business of being one. To react with revulsion to its behavior was to make the mistake of applying criteria that are only appropriate to the business of being human.
I know I'm very lucky. A lot of it is quite normal, scooting around the supermarket with a shopping trolley and things like that. With one parent being a prince and the other being an amazing sort of... business woman.
To be a good enough parent one must be able to feel secure in one's parenthood, and one's relation to one's child...The security of the parent about being a parent will eventually become the source of the child's feeling secure about himself.
There's definitely something about the impact of social media in terms of people being able to go from slightly angry with each other to 'fight' very quickly.
My mum's an amazing woman, a huge part of my life. She's very entrepreneurial, owns a very successful business. I take a lot of inspiration from that. That has as much impact on my sport as being athletic does.
I think being shy or a little bit more mild-mannered is more how you treat people and how you go about your business, not necessarily how you dress or things of that nature.
I'm about impact. One can make impact if they run a big business with a lot of zeroes. I've done that. One can also make an impact when you're a research analyst, where it's you and your associate. I've done that.
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