A Quote by Norm MacDonald
Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
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I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up. I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
I think comics will always be around. I think there's something nice about a comic book. People love to hold 'em, turn the pages, fold 'em up, roll 'em up, stick 'em in their back pocket, show 'em to a friend, and say, "Hey, look at this."
What I'm trying to do is play the game the right way, not force shots up. Whenever I have my opportunities, take 'em.
I do have big tits. Always had 'em - pushed 'em up, whacked 'em around. Why not make fun of 'em? I've made a fortune with 'em.
We are talking about one of the greatest threats of all. But people can stand up to the school nurse; you can stand up to the teacher; you can stand up to the principal; you can stand up to them with the facts and the right books.
I just like to build. Don't get me wrong: I think stand-up is great, and when someone like Richard Pryor or Steve Martin does stand-up, there's nothing better in the world. But I don't want to watch a lot of stand-ups for two hours. So I can do 45 minutes of stand-up and then say, 'Can we do something else now?'
Sometimes people ask me, 'You do stand-up?' I try explaining what I do, and I don't think they really get it. So: 'Yeah, I do stand-up.' I wish there was one word to express what I do - that way, I don't sound arrogant. Whenever I say I'm a performer, people think I'm a performance artist: 'She paints herself white and pretends to be a flower.'
Stand up to hypocrisy. If you don't, the hypocrites will teach. Stand up to ignorance, because if you don't, the ignorant will run free to spread ignorance like a disease. Stand up for Truth! If you don't, there is no Truth to your existence. If you don't stand up for all that is right, then understand that you are part of the reason that there is so much wrong in the world.
I not only have the right to stand up for myself, but I have the responsibility. I can't ask somebody else to stand up for me if I won't stand up for myself. And once you stand up for yourself, you'd be surprised that people say, "Can I be of help?".
And I not only have the right to stand up for myself, but I have the responsibility. I can't ask somebody else to stand up for me if I won't stand up for myself. And once you stand up for yourself, you'd be surprised that people say, "Can I be of help?"
Our lives are like these things I make. Turn 'em, build 'em, bake 'em in fire. That's what you've been, son. Baked and fired. But a pot don't have the right to choose whether he be for water, wine, or just left empty. You have, son. You have.
The first thing to remember: There's no substitute for cold steel. They do not like it up 'em, they DON'T LIKE IT UP 'EM
I love the smaller clubs. I love the theaters. I love the festivals. There are things I don't like. At certain theaters, people can't get up and dance.
I think it's so important for somebody like me to stand up for the things I believe in and speak up on things I don't think are right.
They say the shoe can always fit, no matter whose foot it's on. These days feel like I'm squeezing in 'em. Who ever wore 'em before just wasn't thinking big enough, I'm about to leave 'em with 'em
I think that people want to go to the movies and watch shows on TV or in theaters that make them feel good and music really does that. Not only can you watch something and connect to dialogue, but when you listen to a song, it gives a whole other element of connection and you get that feeling like you want to stand up and dance and sing.
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