A Quote by Norm MacDonald
I miss seeing real comics, Shecky Greene and Buddy Hackett, those types. I like straight stand-up, talking about the Olympics and why I feel obligated to watch them. 'Why am I watching archery at 4 in the afternoon?'
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Buddy Hackett [was] talking - this is Hackett, not me - about the Virgin Mary, a limerick sort of thing, and all these children and families ... the look of absolute horror. He's going on and on and on, and finally he stops. It's just total horror, and the camera's still rolling. You can hear it, sort of a grinding noise. And the director says, "Anything else, Bud?"
Margaret Cho is definitely one of the people, like just watching or hearing her stand up back in the days when stand-up albums were pretty prolific. Seeing her in Carnegie Hall was pretty revolutionary for me to be like, 'Oh, this Asian person talking about her sexuality.'
When I decided to write about my brother and friends, I was attempting to answer the question why. Why did they all die like that? Why so many of them? Why so close together? Why were they all so young? Why, especially, in the kinds of places where we are from? Why would they all die back to back to back to back? I feel like I was writing my way towards an answer in the memoir.
My dad's a doctor, and he'd watch 'Grey's Anatomy,' and he'd be like, 'This is not okay. This isn't what it's like.' And we're like, 'Shut up, it's not about that. That's not why we're watching it.'
Stand up straight. If you stand up straight, you will instantly feel better about yourself, and you will project a better image to the world, one that says you don't feel like you have to be hunched over and closed off.
Open the GIFTS actually came out of this quest. I ended up going into a pretty deep depression that people don't know about, and now I'm talking about it. I was too focused on, If I'm not working, who am I? Why am I not doing that thing that I want to do the most? Why am I not successful in this moment?
When you're watching, I find two things happen. You either watch a film and it's really good and then you think, "Why can't I do that?" Or you watch a film and it's not good, and you think, "Why am I doing this?" So either way, it feels like being at work.
People who don't like musicals like, 'why are they singing? Why aren't they just talking? If you make the lyric feel really conversational, it's much easier for them to bridge that gap.
Sometimes I screw up in the game, I miss a shot or I miss a rebound, and I fight myself. I am like, 'Why I miss that shot? Come on, what are you doing?' I am fighting myself.
Of course, watching 'Stand By Me' is, to me, the pinnacle of child performances in movies or shows. It doesn't get much better than that, and those kids, you feel like you know them instantly and they feel real.
I grew up thinking 'The Hills' was real life and it made me feel terrible about my own. Like, why wasn't I perfect and pretty like them?
Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it.
I would watch 'The Ed Sullivan Show' and borrow a few lines here and there from guests like Red Buttons and Buddy Hackett to create a routine. Then I started getting invited to do political functions like the governor's birthday ball or mayor's dinner.
I feel a lot of guilt about the freedom that being an artist provides. I ask myself, 'Why am I not the guy emptying the trash, why am I the guy who is watching the guy empty the trash?'
Why do we smile? Why do we laugh? Why do we feel alone? Why are we sad and confused? Why do we read poetry? Why do we cry when we see a painting? Why is there a riot in the heart when we love? Why do we feel shame? What is that thing in the pit of your stomach called desire?
I love the sport, I haven't made millions off of it so maybe that's why I just feel like a normal person, I just feel regular, so that when I walk out of my house now with people requesting autographs in the middle of Albertson's aisles. I realize that I did go to the Olympics and did come back with a gold medal, but this is all strange. Somebody pinch me please, because I'm just here on my couch at night watching the Olympics now like everyone else in the world.
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