A Quote by Octavia Spencer
At 21, you can live life with reckless abandon, as reckless as your abandon is. Then, at 30, there's something there are the supposed to be's. You're like, "I'm supposed to be doing this. I'm supposed to be doing that." You start measuring your life by what you think you're supposed to be doing. Having recently turned 40, it's like, "What the hell?! Why am I worried about what I'm supposed to be doing? What do I want to do?" You become fine with wherever the road takes you.
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There's a lot to be said for doing what you're not supposed to do, and the rewards of doing what you're supposed to do are more subtle and take longer to become apparent, which maybe makes it less attractive. But your life is the blueprint you make after the building is built.
I think, when you're a young composer, you're told constantly that what you're supposed to do is figure out what your voice is. "What is your thing supposed to sound like?" You know: "What's the thing you do," that everyone can recognizably tell from a long distance is you and then you're supposed to be in search of that marker and you're supposed to find it and you're supposed to live there for the rest of your life. And it seemed to me, from a young age, that was what I was encouraged to do. You find a sound and that's your sound! That's what you do.
Confidence comes from creating something and knowing what I'm supposed to be doing and feeling like I'm good at what I'm supposed to be doing.
Theres a lot to be said for doing what youre not supposed to do, and the rewards of doing what youre supposed to do are more subtle and take longer to become apparent, which maybe makes it less attractive. But your life is the blueprint you make after the building is built.
I'm most in my element on tour, with a gig that day, like today. I'm on the road where I am supposed to be. I will be where I'm supposed to be at nighttime, on stage, in front of people, doing my thing.
You have to really swallow your pride and admit that you want to make a comeback. And that means that you weren't at your best and I feel like I stopped being who I needed to be. When I started making this record "Born Villain", I didn't want to be what I used to be but I certainly didn't want to be what I was at the time. I knew that I was supposed to be something better then what I was. I feel that I am close to being what I'm supposed to be and am enjoying what I'm doing here.
We tend to think of orphans as being the protagonist of stories we read when we're kids, and yet here you are: you're an adult, you're supposed to manage, you're supposed to get over it, you're supposed to go on with your life, and you feel like a lost child.
God puts you where God needs you. You are where you are supposed to be. The job you are doing may not be any easier on account of this, indeed it may be harder, even more urgent, but now you are centered, focused, clear. So this is where I am supposed to be. I always thought I was supposed to be somewhere else, doing something else, being someone else. But I realize now that I was mistaken. This does not mean that I can't or will not be doing something else. Just right now, I am where God wants me.
I love that because that's what I'm supposed to be doing - whether it's accepted b everybody or not. I'm supposed to be pushing that envelope and trying new things. And people are supposed to say, Hov, you might have went too far.
And how do you know when you're doing something right? How do you know that? It feels so. What I know now is that feelings are really your GPS system for life. When you're supposed to do something or not supposed to do something, your emotional guidance system lets you know. The trick is to learn to check your ego at the door and start checking your gut instead.
It feels like it is a daily work and an ongoing task to undo all of the f - - g programming that I have had all my life about who I am supposed to be and how I'm supposed to look and that I'm supposed to win. It's a daily deconstruction of all that bullshit.
For a while now I've had this feeling that there's something that I'm supposed to be doing or something that I'm supposed to contribute. I don't know what that is yet, but it's been plaguing me - like I've missed my calling somehow.
Why am I doing the work I'm doing? Why am I friends with this person? Am I living the best life I possibly can? Questions are often looked upon as questions of doubt but I don't see it that way at all. I question things to stay present, to make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Even if some days I feel like I'm ready to fall apart, I am ultimately happier than I've ever been. My family gives me more joy than I thought possible, and my career fulfills me tremendously. All in all, I feel like am in the exact place I am supposed to be in, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
Sometimes you find out what you are supposed to be doing by doing the things you are not supposed to do.
Sometimes I'll be sitting on Facebook at home and see all these people getting married, having kids, having that life that I was told I should have. And sometimes I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Am I the stupid one here? Am I not doing what I'm supposed to do? And that's also equally as stressful.
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