A Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch.

P. J. O'Rourke

Quote Topics

Anything Expensive Never Teeth Your

Quote Author

P. J. O'Rourke
American - Comedian
Born: November 14, 1947

Here the oppression of women is very subtle. If we take female circumcision, the excision of the clitoris, it is done physically in Egypt. But here it is done psychologically and by education. So even if women have the clitoris, the clitoris was banned; it was removed by Freudian theory and by the mainstream culture.

Nawal El Saadawi

Women who come to see me admit that they've never looked at their sex organ; they've never seen their clitoris. Now tell me if that isn't a form of being psychologically genitally mutilated? For them, the clitoris doesn't exist, but we're worried about women in Africa!

Betty Dodson

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.

Dave Barry

I've never had white teeth. To be honest, I've never been told to do any of those horrible things - get your teeth whitened or your nose straightened.

Helena Bonham Carter

Even though sugar was very expensive, people consumed it till their teeth turned black, and if their teeth didn't turn black naturally, they blackened them artificially to show how wealthy and marvelously self-indulgent they were.

Bill Bryson

When you're missing your two front teeth, that's honesty. That is a door to your oral history. You're not covering anything up. You're saying, 'Hey world, I'm missing my front teeth. I'm gross; I'm dirty; I'm poor. I clearly have no problem with public urination and eating garbage. Don't come near me, I'll gum you to death!

Iliza Shlesinger

Don't come to New York until you've finished a book. It's too expensive. You'll never write anything. You'll spend all your time working to pay the rent.

Dale Peck

Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.

George Carlin

One day, a new fabric appeared on the scene. PVC was shiny, waterproof, and unlike anything I'd ever seen before.

Mary Quant

Some people have a blog that's, like, 'Today I brushed my teeth.' Well, who cares? Who cares that you brushed your teeth. Okay - you brushed your teeth! That's so massively egocentric, it's just ridiculous.

Zach Galligan

If you brush your teeth, you don't want to eat something right after because your mouth feels so fresh. So brushing your teeth actually prevents you from eating until later.

Cloris Leachman

Since there is no one else to praise me, I will praise myself -- will say that I have never tampered with a single tooth in my thought machine, such as it is. There are teeth missing, God knows -- some I was born without, teeth that will never grow. And other teeth have been stripped by the clutchless shifts of history -- But never have I willfully destroyed a tooth on a gear of my thinking machine. Never have I said to myself, 'This fact I can do without.

Kurt Vonnegut

But Rhett, you mustn't bring me anything else so expensive. It's awfully kind of you, but I really couldn't accept anything else." "Indeed? Well, I shall bring you presents so long as it pleases me and so long as I see things that will enhance your charms. I shall bring you dark-green watered silk for a frock to match the bonnet. And I warn you that I am not kind. I am tempting you with bonnets and bangles and leading you into a pit. Always remember I never do anything without reason and I never give anything without expecting something in return. I always get paid.

Margaret Mitchell

The worst part about ALS is that one day, you're able to brush your teeth; then you'll never be able to brush your teeth again. One day, you're able to walk - you're never going to walk again.