A Quote by P. J. O'Rourke
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
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I throw a Christmas party at my house. It's not really a Christmas party, because I don't want to call it a Christmas party. But let's just say I put a lot of Christmas trees around the house, so it smells good.
I throw a Christmas party at my house. It's not really a Christmas party, because I don't want to call it a Christmas party. But let's just say I put a lot I wanted an electric train for Christmas but I got the saxophone instead.
Take the entire 4.5-billion-year history of the earth and scale it down to a single year, with January 1 being the origin of the earth and midnight on December 31 being the present. Until June, the only organisms were single-celled microbes, such as algae, bacteria, and amoebae. The first animal with a head did not appear until October. The first human appears on December 31. We, like all the animals and plants that have ever lived, are recent crashers at the party of life on earth.
I spent 250 to 300 days of every year on the road. But in the end, I felt something was missing. I needed to be anchored so I could concentrate, so in 2000, I established a new methodology - the one I use today. I spent the week in my office and travelled every weekend, even at Christmas.
Religion ends and philosophy begins, just as alchemy ends and chemistry begins, and astrology ends and astronomy begins.
Christmas is ... a time to mark our progress through this earthly journey. Every December we can look back and marvel at the designs of God and realize how very little we are in control of the events that shaped the past year. Then, with hearts full, look to the celebration of that silent, holy night, and all its certainty. Because of Christmas, this we know: Christ was born for us. He is love, and the plans he has for us always surpass those of our own.
In the Land of Toys, every day, except Sunday, is a Saturday. Vacation begins on the first of January and ends on the last day of December. That is the place for me! All countries should be like it! How happy we should all be!
A Global Magnitsky Bill, which broadens the scope of the US Magnitsky Act to human rights abusers around the world was passed in December 2016. Estonia adopted Magnitsky legislation in December 2016, and the UK followed in April 2017. These are great successes, but my fight for justice continues.
Really it's hard to know where the Republican Party ends and the Tea Party begins.
December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.
I went to jail for a year when I was 17. When I got out, my mother took me to the recruiting office, and I spent the next six years in the Navy.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Last year, Americans spent $450 billion on Christmas. Clean water for the whole world, including every poor person on the planet would cost about $20 billion. Let's just call that what it is: A material blasphemy of the Christmas season.
When you spend such a large portion of your life working - and it's not fun, and you're worried about getting sued or fired for saying the wrong thing or for acting crazy at a work party - then what has work done to America? That's the impetus to have a huge office Christmas party.
I've had this look for about a year. I usually grow this beard out around Christmas. I like to go to malls dressed as Jesus, and I like to then walk around the mall and go, 'No! No! This wasn't what it was supposed to be about, people!' Then if there's a Santa at the mall, I walk up to him and say, 'Listen, fat man, you're just a clown at my birthday party.'
I think December has always been the most haunted month, from the gothic-narrative point of view - a lot of Edgar Allan Poe stories are set in December. It's the last month of the year, and it's supposed to be sort of this mystical, spiritual month. And being Swedish, December is also the darkest month out of the year.
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