A Quote by Paul Gascoigne
I don't really do pranks any more. I have a laugh in the dressing room here, where it's safe, and the guys don't go to the papers and tell them what I've done.
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One time when I played Australia I had a death threat, and they tried to keep it from me, but I found out. They had all this security backstage, outside the dressing room. I said, "What happens when I walk into the spotlight. I'm a target. So I really don't need all this. You guys can go out and sit in the audience. I think you'd be a lot more useful there." If somebody really wants to do you in nothing will stop them. It's proven by John F.Kennedy, the Pope and Ronald Reagan.
I still like to think I have a pretty good laugh with the other guys in the dressing room and still enjoy a beer and the odd night out.
It is a little bit strange from when you share a dressing room with someone, you play with them and then all of a sudden they are your manager but you used to have conversations with them that stay in dressing rooms and now you can't really have those conversations!
I'm not ashamed of any of my papers at all and I'm rather sick of snobs that tell us that they're bad papers, snobs who only read papers that no one else wants. I doubt if they read many papers at all.
If you want a measure of how private a place the dressing room was when I was growing up at Manchester United, consider this: even Sir Alex Ferguson would knock before coming into the dressing room at the Cliff, the old training ground. The dressing room is for the players - and the players only.
When I was in school I used to prank my teachers all the time. But I was really, really nice. I love to make people laugh. And even in those pranks, the teachers would laugh most of the time.
I leave at half-time; by then you can see which way it's going. If you ask me to name five of our team, I couldn't. There's that guy who scores goals - Taarabt. Routledge I've heard of. All bloody nice guys but I don't mix with them so I don't know them well. I don't go in the dressing room. They can walk out of the showers and I feel I've got an inferiority complex.
When I was a student in Kazakhstan University, I did not have access to any research papers. These papers I needed for my research project. Payment of 32 dollars is just insane when you need to skim or read tens or hundreds of these papers to do research. I obtained these papers by pirating them.
Now the dressing-room full of RSC hierarchy. Suddenly Trevor Nunn pushes his way through and 'Trevs' me. I've heard a lot about this 'Trevving', but never had it done to me. From what I'd heard, a 'Trev' is an arm round your shoulder and a sideways squeeze. But this 'Trev' is a full frontal hug, so complete and so intimate that the dressing-room instantly clears, as if by suction. I'm left alone in the arms of this famous man wondering whether it's polite to let go.
We haven't developed what some have called the precautionary principle which will say look, if there's a reason, if a product is safe, that's fine, but it's really the responsibility of an industry to tell us it's safe and to make sure it's safe. It's not our responsibility to wait until the damage is done.
I'm 32 now. I'm getting old. It's gone in the blink of an eye. But I won't even look back at the number of caps when I'm done: the most important thing will be remembering all the fun I've had with the guys in the dressing room and the friends I've made.
Undertaker was always a leader in the dressing room, always a man's man. No one ever doubted what he said because his word was good. He was a guy that set the dressing room standard. If you had an issue or personal problem, you could go to Undertaker and he would help you.
There were times we were kept in our dressing room until late at night because it wasn't safe to go home. Our bus would get attacked, the tires slit.
The Jackass movies are honestly some of the best movies I've ever seen. I laugh so hard at them. Those guys are geniuses. If they had grown up with a different group of people, they could've been performance artists at Bard College, and people would be writing papers about them.
You ask the guys in the dressing room, I am a very bad loser.
But it was great, we sit in the same dressing room where, like, Johnny Cash sat and Willie Nelson and all those guys. That was in itself something amazing - I was on the same space these guys stood on, ya know?
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