A Quote by Pete Holmes
I used to just want so badly to have afterlife insured and make sure I was going to heaven.
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The afterlife I'm not so sure about. So, I don't understand why you'd want to hurt other people in thinking that you'll go on in the afterlife to have bliss. I just don't understand it.
I think you should enjoy this life that you are given on this earth because we really don't know what it is in the afterlife. We can definitely prove that this life is this life here because we wake up every day and do the same thing that we do. The afterlife I'm not so sure about. So, I don't understand why you'd want to hurt other people in thinking that you'll go on in the afterlife to have bliss. I just don't understand it.
I would get my laugh insured! Because my laugh is very important: it's a million dollar laugh, so if my vocal chords make my laugh any different, then I'm going to have to get insured.
If you're about to get a tat, make sure you're 110% sure it's what you want. If you're getting it in a different language make sure it is exactly what you want it to be because there is no going back.
Yes, and I had pimples so badly it used to make me so shy. I used not to look at myself. I'd hide my face in the dark, I wouldn't want to look in the mirror and my father teased me and I just hated it and I cried everyday.
I have a traditional view of the afterlife... heaven, hell and judgments. But the accounts of those places are scant, and I believe it's on purpose. We aren't supposed to try to figure out the architecture of the afterlife, since the big game is here in this life.
For He hath prepared for them a City! Hallelujah? He's got a City for you & me where you're not going to have any passport nor visa problems, they're not going to have to make sure you've got enough money to stay there awhile, it's YOUR town, your Hometown in Heaven, praise God? And they're all going to be your people! We're just going to be one nationality of one nation, ...we just haven't found the place yet, we haven't gotten there yet!
When it's going well [writing] goes terribly fast. It isn't at all surprising to write a chapter in a day, which for me is about twenty-two pages. When it's going badly, it isn't really going badly; it's just the beginning.
We want to make sure children aren't left without any books. We want to make sure our children have the books, that they have a place in the castle. We want to make sure that their mothers have affordable day care. We want to make sure we give the older people the care that they need.
I know it may come off cheesy, but if somebody's going to invest hundreds of thousands of dollars, even more into you, you want to make sure you can return that; you want to make sure they feel good about their investment.
So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah.
I want to be here for a long time, so I am going to do everything I have to do to be here. And I want to walk my daughter down the aisle and give her away to somebody some day. I want to make sure I am still here to make sure my two young [sons] become men.
I want to be here for a long time, so I am going to do everything I have to do to be here. And I want to walk my daughter down the aisle and give her away to somebody some day. I want to make sure I am still here to make sure my two young sons become men.
I often do crazy siren noises, or, like, a high-pitched dolphin, just to make sure that all my range is there. I make random noise and blurt out random sounds, to make sure I get rid of any bad nerves. I want to make sure to feel as confident as possible.
My mom used to make sure we stayed dressed nice going to church. And when you're young, and people compliment you, you want to keep that feeling. You want to keep that vibe, that energy. Because it makes you feel good. And then clothes make you feel good too.
It takes a long time for me to just say 'I'm going to get a tat.' I really do my homework on it and make sure that it's perfect and the way I want it and make sure there's always meaning because I never get anything without meaning.
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