A Quote by Phyllis Diller

My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.

Phyllis Diller

Quote Topics

Cheap Christmas Christmas Eve Committed Eve Fires Husband Kids My Husband Santa Shot Suicide Tells

Quote Author

Phyllis Diller
American - Comedian
July 17, 1917 - August 20, 2012

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

Milton Berle

The way my family always did Christmas was on Christmas Eve, it wasn't really centered around a dinner on Christmas Eve. It was more about keeping the kids calm. Sometime after dark is when we were going to open all the presents underneath the tree from Mom, Dad and the kids and everything - just the family presents was every Christmas Eve.

Blake Shelton

Keeping the magic alive can be as simple as going to the mall to sit on Santa's lap or reading special stories on Christmas Eve.

Stephanie Land

He's one of those Christmas Eve guys. There are people like that... every day in their lives is Christmas Eve.

Joe Garagiola

We always go to downtown Oklahoma City to look at all the Christmas lights that have been put up... We go to the Christmas Eve service at church, and we always beg my parents to open a present - just one present - on Christmas Eve. We get them to cave.

Darci Lynne Farmer

I inherited depression from my mother's side of the family. Her father committed suicide. She committed suicide the year before I went to the moon.

Buzz Aldrin

I wasn't Santa in Santa Jr., but I was Santa in Cancel Christmas.

Judd Nelson

When I was a kid, we would get McDonalds on Christmas Eve, and that was a big deal because the closest one to the south side of Chicago was a 35 minute drive away. I remember opening the bag and smelling those fries, and even now when I smell them, it reminds me of Christmas Eve.

Jane Lynch

For Christmas 1999, my husband surprised me with a trip to Disney World. Along with our boys, we were standing on the roof of the Contemporary Hotel at midnight on New Year's Eve 2000 watching fireworks explode over every amusement park in Orlando. It was a magical way to celebrate the millennial, and a never-to-be-forgotten Christmas present.

Karen Robards

At the heart of every really good Christmas movie is the threat, I suppose, to Christmas. Something is wrong with Christmas, in all of these movies. In 'The Polar Express,' there's a kid that doesn't really believe, and that's the threat to Christmas. In 'Santa Claus: The Movie,' jealousy and greed are threatening to overrun his Christmas.

James McAvoy

Christmas is a really special day since I support the initiative 'Helping Hands' and I celebrate Christmas with the kids there. I take them to a place they would enjoy, like a hotel or fun zone and spend time with them as we play together and I become Santa for them.

Gautam Rode

Like kids who only ever get socks for Christmas, but still believe with all their hearts in Santa.

Barbara Kingsolver

This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found.

Paul Park

Having a birthday cake squashed into your face by young kids? Delicious. I always don a Santa suit at Christmas. Remaining childish is a tremendous state of innocence.