A Quote by Phyllis Diller

I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody. — © Phyllis Diller
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
I walk to Oxford Street and climb on the number 8. It's freezing and it starts to rain and it's the ugliest bus I've ever seen, rattling down the ugliest streets, in the ugliest city, in the ugliest country, in the ugliest of all possible worlds.
Being born was the worse and the first mistake I ever made. The doctor didn't spank me, he just slapped me in the face.
I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!
I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
One baby is a patient baby, and waits indefinitely until its mother is ready to feed it. The other baby is an impatient baby and cries lustily, screams and kicks and makes everybody unpleasant until it is fed. Well, we know perfectly well which baby is attended to first. That is the whole history of politics.
I think everybody is born pure. You never go to the maternity ward and hold a baby that has bad energy.
To finally get that call from the doctor that you're pregnant and you're having a baby.... It was just another world.
I was born, and the doctor left. And then the nurse is like, 'Doctor, I think there's another one.'
I came out singing, the doctor slapped me on the head, and I started singing.
But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
I first understood the changes that were necessary in this world, because the waiters in the restaurant, when I cried, used to say, "Leave her on the hillside to die. She's only a girl baby." I think they said it somewhat as a joke, maybe not, but it made me understand that being born female in this world was very different from being born male.
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.
There are some great questions to ask your doctor. If he says 'no,' then you find yourself a different doctor. There really has to be a change in how we medically look at women at this time. I mean, this is not just baby gloom.
You guys are evil. Canada's the best country in the world. We go to the doctor and we don't need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you're broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard's baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby's premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home.
'Doctor Who' belongs to all of us. Everybody makes 'Doctor Who.'
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