A Quote by Phyllis Diller

I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband. — © Phyllis Diller
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Mr Churchill, to what do you attribute your success in life? Conservation of energy. Never stand up when you can sit down. And never sit down when you can lie down.
Be one of the crowd? It went against everything a wizard stood for, and a wizard would not stand for anything if he could sit down for it, but even sitting down, you had to stand out.
Conservation of energy. Never stand up when you can sit down, and never sit down when you can lie down.
When we stand up and we sing O Canada, we pledge to stand on guard for thee. If that doesn't include our water, we might as well sit down and give up.
Don’t stand up when you can sit down and don’t sit down when you can lie down.
I remember someone said to me, "Never stand up when you can sit down, never sit down when you can lie down, never lie down when you can be asleep." Those are bits of advice that I haven't taken, really. I've done the opposite of them, but they have stayed with me.
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
Improv requires your audience to be informed about what improv is. With stand-up, anybody can sit down and watch stand-up and laugh at jokes.
I had a cookie business there, with my brother, when we were growing up, called the Chip Yard, and that became the inspiration for the banana stand. My father said that he wanted us to develop a work ethic, so we'd sit there selling cookies, all day.
It is in the American tradition to stand up for one's rights--even if the new way to stand up for one's rights is to sit down.
Kids don't say, "Wait." They say, "Wait up, hey wait up!" Because when you're little, your life is up. The future is up. Everything you want is up. "Hold up. Shut up! Mum, I'll clean up. Let me stay up!" Parents, of course, are just the opposite. Everything is down. "Just calm down. Slow down. Come down here! Sit down. Put... that... down."
Stand-up was interesting to me at the beginning, because I was trying to parody it. My early stand-up was really Andy Kaufman-esque, and then I became the very thing I was making fun of.
If I can sit down for freedom, you can stand up for children.
It's almost as easy to stand up as it is to sit down.
I had to sit down and promise the kids I would no longer have any spray tans. My husband started sending me the carrot emoji.
Stand up, speak out, and be bold. Screw political correctness. Never let them tell you to sit down and shut up.
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