A Quote by Pollyanna McIntosh
Because the job is still really exciting, and I still get nervous on the first day of shooting. But all the nonsense that surrounds it - that can be on your own terms.
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Not that my life has been so crazy and exciting but, it just seems like if I can bring more of myself to the role. It's going to help keep it spontaneous and exciting, instead of thinking in terms of this box of a human that I have to slip myself into every week, which I tend to do more when I'm shooting a movie. On a television show, this is all kind of still new to me, doing many episodes of something, so I want to try to keep it as fresh and close to home as possible, so it doesn't get stale and I still like it every day.
I like finding things out beforehand, because I'm nervous in disposition, and I worry that if I don't do anything, then I'll turn up and I still won't really have a sense of it, and it might be too late. So I like to get things as organized as I possibly can in my own head, to apply myself to the work before arriving to a late-in-the-day rehearsal, or in extreme cases, the first day on set.
On draft day, I wasn't really nervous at all. Then you turn on the draft, the first five picks go by, and then you still thinking, 'Oh man, I don't know where I'm going to go.' It's really just, by the time draft hits, that's when you get nervous.
I still get stage fright horribly. I still get nervous. I do tend to find when you're playing characters, often - just for the time you're playing them - there are sides of your personality that get stronger because you draw on them more.
Nothing is as exciting - or as nerve-wracking - as being the new girl. Whether it's your first day of school or you're starting a dream job, if there's one thing that makes a first impression a lot less daunting, it's a really, really good hair day.
When I get nervous my energy gets really still, and I think people think that's me. Everything gets really still, and my voice gets a little bit lower and there is a little croak in there - sometimes you can hear it when I'm really nervous on camera.
Singing your own songs live is so personal, it's like standing there reading out your diary pages. I still get really nervous so I would have to say performing is the greater rush for me.
You don't get to be the bad mom and still succeed at your job and be tough. It's such a good job because it's so rare. It's a really rare job.
The difference between the big budget films I've done is the length of time. But in terms of the day-to-day, you're still going on to set, you're getting into character, and you're going and doing your job, so there's absolutely no difference. It's just the structure around it and the length of time. But in terms of budget and money, it doesn't really manifest itself.
People expect your life to change completely. The main difference is I can get work now. I can do my hobby as a job. It's great. It's a privilege. But in terms of the rest of the stuff, I still got all the same group of friends I always had. I don't do anything different. We still go to the same dirty bars and do the same things. So nothing really changes.
I don't look at people's expressions, because I still get nervous when I play, especially when I first put the harp up there. I just try to tune - it takes me a half-hour to tune, and I get nervous if I look at anybody when I do it.
I think that everybody has hard work side, no matter what your job is, you have bad days, you have people you don't get along with. The thing about modeling is every single day you're working with a completely new team so every single day is your first day of work or your first day of school. And you can't really have an off day because that will be the only experience they have with you.
I never thought about being a cop. I'm kind of sensitive. I don't know if I could handle that job. It's hard to go home every day and be able to still live your own life because some of the stuff you see really affects you.
I am still nervous every show. Not in the "Wow, I'm scared, I can't go on nervous," but the "I really want to do a good job and the give the audience a great show" kind of nervous. Oh, yes, the nerves are there, but I let them push me instead of holding me back.
Sure we girls can wear pants now, and vote, and go to college, have a bank account, get a job that is not just stewardess or nurse. But we still have to deal with micro-aggressions and daily sexism. We are still fighting for word over our own bodies. We still get the short shrift on equal pay. We're still not represented in media or the arts with total parity. Not on screen or on the page or behind the scenes. It's still not easy. There is still this constant low-grade fight to be seen and taken seriously when you are a girl and when you become a woman. It totally sucks.
If you make a film, that magic is not there, because you were there while shooting it. After writing a film and shooting it and being in the editing room every day, you can never see it clearly. I think other people's perception of your film is more valid than your own, because they have that ability to see it for the first time.
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