A Quote by Quinn Shephard
I think coming off of "Blame", I've been talking a lot about directing. It's something that I really love and connect with. I truly consider it what I was born to do. That kind of loops in with filmmaking on the whole, because when you create something, you're also wearing a lot more hats than just director. At the same time, I also think acting is something that's very powerful in my life.
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Basically, I thought for a very long time that making music and art projects, that that was just something that I did, and real life was separate. And I'm starting to realize that the things that I do, making music and art and photography and all that, it's not just something that I do. It's who I am. So I don't think I'll ever be able to stop. It's like that curse that you live with, this thing that you love but you also hate it at the same time. It brings you a lot of joy but also a lot of heartbreak.
I will say from the outset, I think if you're great, you're great from the very beginning. And because I do think it is innate and I do think it is a gift you just have, and I don't think you can - you can hone the skills of a director, but sadly, I do think that you are born a great director. I think it's just in you and it's something that is deep in you. But, I find it can be difficult working with first-time directors, but it's also moving.
I've always made things either paintings, drawing, photographs, or writing. It's all kind of the same thing. It all involves saying more, I guess. It involves separating life, breaking off this chunk that's devoted to making something. There's a lot of pleasure in that, but there can also be a lot of struggle. There's always this fantasy that you could just live life and not have to think about it.
I've always had a strange acting life. I'm the daughter of a director, and a very French, typical director who fell in love with every single one of his actresses. And that's also something that's kind of normal in the acting business, because everything is based on desire, one way or the other.
I think it's something that really speaks in your head - a very strong melody. But at the same time, if the song doesn't have some kind of edge to it, if there isn't something a little off about it or something very intense or loud or abrasive in some way, it just comes off as a stupid pop song.
The directing thing, to do it well, I think you have to have a hell of a lot more discipline than I do, or be a lot more willing to really take charge of whole large group of people than I feel comfortable doing - because a director really has to run everything, and be very confident in their ability to do so.
I think that can also be the downfall at the same time in what's really difficult about being kind of in the public eye, you have so much exposure through the Internet, and you can receive a lot of comments, and you get kind of immediate gratification, but also immediate response from people that can either be negative or positive. But I'm really thankful for the internet because it's allowed me to connect with people so much more easily.
I have traveled to a lot of places, and you look at another young person who lives under very different circumstances than you but has the same dreams or the same interests or might be better at what I do than what I do. But I was born in a different place, and she was born in a different place. Just for that alone, you're kind of inherently given opportunity. That's something that I'm very grateful for, but I'm also very aware of.
It's always been important to us to be original, which sounds really easy when you say it. Everyone says it all the time, but it's actually not that easy to be original. It's also something scary because if you're doing stuff that doesn't sound like anything else, I think a lot of people get scared of that. A lot of people tend to follow instead, they wait for something else to do something new and then they follow that. We just don't like to do that.
I think my interest in risk is pretty high, a lot higher than I think a lot of other people who are just looking for something to kind of define themselves, give them a set of fingerprints, and certainly is better for the pocketbook. For me it's always about trying new things and wanting to explore something else and something new of myself and of actors I really like.
I know where my heart is and I know that I can make people feel something with my music. I'm quite confident in what I am doing, so if I can also make a song that people want to put in ten times during a party and makes them happy, then I think that is also good. I feel that playfulness is something that has entered my life a lot more in the last couple of years. I'm not taking everything too seriously. I think that is something that comes with age - I hope. I feel that music is much more fun for me than it has ever been.
I've always been into the not stereotypical hunk guy - I'm into dorky, like I call it adorkable. And I think that a lot of girls are into that. I think there's something disarming about it and endearing and also puts you at ease and there's an attractiveness there - it's like a good sense of humor, self-deprecating, weirdness. You know? Because I think we all have that in ourselves, but we just try to hide it because it's not "cool," but a lot of people can kind of relate to that feeling or the outsider feeling.
Of course, you can never watch something like somebody else watches something like you, but nonetheless, you have to try. So I think on camera you learn a lot about how much the camera does for you, which is what is the great luxury of movie acting. Or acting whether it's TV or movies or whatever it is, that the camera's really such a gift because there's so much that it sees and does if you're willing to just be open and expose yourself and all of that. So you also learn what doesn't matter. And sometimes when you think about things, you think things matter that don't matter.
My fellow actors inspire me a lot and really good writing inspires me. And then trying to stick to the decision to only do something that I think will challenge me and that I, personally and very subjectively, I think is good not do something because I think it will bring me a lot of money or bring me a lot of awards. I've tried to very, very rigorously be highly subjective about what I do. And that's something that I think I have basically lived by.
There's obviously something that feels very good about being with a new filmmaker who's very excited, but I also think there's something very comforting in a director who's been around a few times. Both have their pros and cons.
I probably get strangers coming up to me two or three times a week to just say something nice. I get more than my share of compliments as I walk through my daily life. I'm not having to show off or make a point about how good I am at doing something. I think I've always kind of been that way.
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