A Quote by Rachel Naomi Remen
I have even learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues, until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.
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I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention And especially if it's given from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don't value ourselves or our love enough to know this.
My standards are higher than they used to be, I think. They don't necessarily have to make sense, but I certainly work on them a lot harder now -- partly because I do them on the computer, and I print them out and fix them, and print them and fix them over and over again, whereas in the early days I used to just scratch down a few things on a piece of paper.
In the ordinary jumble of my literary drawer, I sometimes find texts I wrote ten, fifteen, or even more years ago. And many of them seem to me written by a stranger: I simply do not recognize myself in them. There was a person who wrote them, and it was I. I experienced them, but it was in another life, from which I just woke up, as if from someone else's dream.
If someone comes up to me at a show and talks to me, if they're not freaking out about meeting me, which I'm just not very good at dealing with, of course I'll talk to them. I'm mean, they're a person. I'm not a monster. It may sound like bullshit humility, but I'm just a dude making music. I'd be doing this if no one was listening.
I try not to respond to trolls. I've learned blocking. If anybody is truly mean to me, or says something arrogant - don't respond, you'll only empower them. If you give them anything! So I'll block 'em. Or, if someone's annoying, but yet I still kind of like them, I mute them. Because they don't know! So then, it still looks like we're connected, but I don't have to listen.
I learned very early on not to speak to my folk from on high, but to get down with them, beside them, showing them how to act rather than telling them. And I suggested that they should do the same with one another: that they didn't need a book of rules to tell them what to do and what not to do, but experience and action.
I just love the fact that that's the way life is. When something horrible happens, you do find yourself laughing in weird places in the midst of grief and crying in the supermarket when you see a cereal that somebody used to eat. There's just no way of guarding yourself one way or another. Everybody grieves differently, and there's no right or wrong way.
Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve. -The Joker
Maybe my work isn't a cry for help. It may just be a baby's need to cry or a dog's need to bark. You know, barks that seem connected to phantom noises and cries that just come; though a baby's cries are usually efficient - something is bothering them. Anyway, I think giving money is a sign of love. If you truly want to help someone, a lot of times giving them money is the best thing you can do.
If you have worries, there is no better way to eliminate them than by walking them off. Just take them out for a walk. They may take wings and fly away!
Sometimes stories cry out to be told in such loud voices that you write them just to shut them up.
We can never underestimate the emotionality of 'This Is Us.' Just when you think you don't have another tear to cry, we will find a way. We will find all of your tears. We will dig down deep, and we will yank them out, whether you like it or not.
You learn the most by listening and so, to me, always just listening, always just paying attention and finding out what it is that people see in somebody like them. You find those things, and you try to figure out how to fit them into who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to lead.
Consider this: Whenever someone is bothering you, and they just won't let up, and they won't listen to anything you have to say, what do you tell them to get them to shut up and go away? 'You're right.' It works every time. But you haven't agreed to their position. You have used 'you're right' to get them to quit bothering you.
If someone hurts me on social media, I want to tell them that they've hurt me. I believe you should say what you're feeling. We should all do that, but what I've also realized is that even a negative comment is from a person who is trying to reach out. When I reply, maybe I'm reminding them that there's a deeper meaning to what they're doing.
I feel that one of the roles of the artist, in the way I define it, is that I need to be not just someone observing these tiny pockets of people on the planet who have devoted their lives to preserving whatever it is they're passionate about. I want to be them. I am one of them. I just have a different outlet and final outcome as an artist than many of them would. For them, the process can just end in holding on to it, just knowing they've got it tucked away in their private collection. I value that so much, but I feel the conversation dies in a way there.
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