A Quote by Rachel Riley
I am aware of some of the things about me on the Internet - like people putting up pictures of me online every single day on something called Rachel Watch!
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I update my MySpace every day, I update my Facebook fan page, but that's about the extent of it. I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day. I'm on the phone every day. There's like five people I just call and yak with every single day. And that to me is my Internet. You can replace the Internet with five really smart friends.
I think Instagram made me more aware that there's actually people that care about what we do, and that we have fans. So that kind of showed me that maybe the people that follow me every day, and are commenting on my pictures, would want to wear the dress I've worn.
I know exactly what that movie's [Brokeback mountain] about. I can't define it; it doesn't tie up in a perfect bow. But it's about adolescence. It's about what it feels like - this isn't meant as a criticism, but like things I didn't relate to, which were high school movies. Where I'd watch it and I'd be like, "Well, am I like the kid that nobody likes? Or am I like the person who everybody [likes]?" I couldn't [tell]. I was like quantifying, putting me in a box. "This is my personality at that age" and "I'm this kind of person" just felt like bullshit to me.
I have never painted a self-portrait. I am less interested in myself as a subject for a painting than I am in other people, above all women... There is nothing special about me. I am a painter who paints day after day from morning to night... Who ever wants to know something about me... ought to look carefully at my pictures.
Being on the road, the Internet enables me to interact with people in some way. It's not so much interacting with my fans - it's about doing something with what I have. I have my camera and I have my computer, and if I have some spare time, rather than watching some mindless bullshit pop-idol program on TV, why not show people my pictures and try and discuss things that I feel are important?
Being internet famous is kind of like being a camp counselor, and you've got this group of rowdy energetic kids every day. You've got to come up with something new every single day to entertain all of us. The internet is a 24-hour playground, there's a lot of enthusiasm.
I am a father, I am very aware of the things that I'm putting out in the world knowing that one day my children will watch the work that I've done. I want to be able to stand by it.
You've got to do something to fill up your day. And I can only play so much guitar and watch so many TV shows. It fulfills me. There are two things about it I like: It makes me happy, and it makes other people happy.
I started to get so many letters from unlikely people; a single mum going, "I watch your show, I'm not into survival, but I hold down four jobs and I get it when you say it's about persistence and putting a positive attitude into things during difficult times." That for me was a great liberator to realize that the show isn't about me running around, jumping off stuff and flexing muscles, it's about inspiring people. That makes me really happy.
Instead of my telling people what they should be doing, it makes more sense to be an inspiration to them. I'm not perfect by any means. I've done some stupid things, and I'm very aware of that. In this day and age, you have to have a sense of humor about it, and at the same time, it's made me a lot more aware that you have to take responsibility for your actions. For me, it's about staying on the path. If I slip, that's OK; just get back up and keep focused.
I was just burnt out. I didn't like the music business and I didn't like me. There's an element of falseness about the whole thing. Even things like doing an interview. It's not as though we just met in the pub and are having a chat - it's part of a process. If you do it all day, every day for years, you end up thinking: 'Who the hell am I?' I was lucky enough to make some money, enough to let me kick back. It was a great experience and it was nice to have a couple of No.1s but the best thing about it was that the money I made allowed me to have freedom and choice in my life.
There isn't a single day I don't do some writing -- if you don't, you won't have a book. When you're self-employed it is very easy to burn away your time instead -- answering e-mails, surfing the Internet, or hanging out with friends. You really must have the discipline to sit down and write every day. Most of what I am writing is living in the back of my head or in my subconscious. I find if I write every day, my subconscious will do the job for me.
When I was in Phoenix, people started noticing and looking every day to see what I was wearing, but it never really affected me. When you do this every day, it's just something you do. Even in Europe I was getting dressed up for every single game. Nobody may be watching but it's just me. It's how I live and it's how I move.
There is a difference between the stuff that people put online themselves, like pictures and their trips and flights and meals they've eaten, than the stuff that they don't realize is also going into foreign computers. Like, for example, copies of your emails or every single online search you ever do, 'cause all that is being recorded as well.
I wake up every morning at, like, seven or eight because I think that there's a bad story about me, and I have to check. My worst fear is waking up and finding something bad about me on the Internet.
There is something so sad about going online and seeing almost everyone shouting ‘Notice me, notice me!’ Which is such a human desire—to be acknowledged. But me responding to that with some sort of ‘You’re noticed, you’re seen’ only perpetuates the loneliness. Because I’m not seeing you; I’m not noticing you. And whoever you are, you so deserve to be noticed and valued. I feel lucky to have not grown up with the Internet because it forced me to get out, struggle and be so messy.
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