You need to look like a lady at the Oscars. Otherwise, Joan Rivers will tear you apart. Then again, you aren't really anyone till Joan Rivers tears you apart.
A fantasy of mine is to do a podcast that's Marcel Marceau and I, and you only hear me laughing at him and trying to figure out what he's doing.
For many years, I did pantomime with Marcel Marceau. I was a writer for him and got to know very well how to use the body for illustration. I wanted to do a mother without arms, but using the arms of her son in Santa Sangre. The tragedy should always have something funny. Something weird.
Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner!
I got Joan Baez to talk and Alan Ginsberg and some of the guys in the band. And by the end of the piece, another emissary came and said, `Bob [Dylan] is willing to speak to you now.' And I said with great pleasure, `No, thanks. The piece is over.'
Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was.
I met Joan Allen at an L.A. Film Critics Awards' dinner, and I said, 'I want to write a movie for you.'
Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh.
I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I'm 50. I'll try anything. Except I won't do Botox again, because I looked crazy. I looked like Joan Rivers!
It was really my grandmother who was the biggest influence because she'd talk back to the celebrities and politicians on TV. She was a combination of Joan Rivers, Elaine Stritch, Betty White, and Bea Arthur rolled into one.
Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner!
Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!
King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!
Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!
Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!