A Quote by Richard Jeni

If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine... look into that second, less painful career. — © Richard Jeni
If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine... look into that second, less painful career.
In my culture, shoes are more or less the first thing women look at. Women look at the build, and then they look at the shoes. If you don't have nice shoes, you don't have money. When I meet a lawyer, the first thing I look at are his shoes. If he has good shoes, he's getting my money.
Advertising. I'd definitely like to try that. In fact, it was a genuine second choice career-wise. I'd be good at selling stuff - I've got the gift of the gab.
Once, in a magazine interview, I said the difference between shoe ladies and bag ladies is that shoe ladies are just a bit classier. Finished! That started World War III among all the women I knew. I only meant that shoes do more for your look and body than bags do!
I have close to 300 pairs of shoes. I'm fortunate enough to be in a position to get any shoes I want. So I have a pretty nice collection. It's pretty valuable. It's funny when sometimes I buy a pair of shoes and I look on eBay and it's already selling for $500. I just wanted to buy those shoes to wear them!
There is a standard joke in the family. Probably we should go into selling second-hand shoes.
There are two industry secrets to surviving a long day on camera on the red carpet: First, no drinking the night before - ever. You can celebrate after with some bubbly. Second is make sure to use shoe insoles. I don't care if you are a guy or a girl, dress shoes are painful. Worth it, but painful.
Each second is a second you can make a new choice, a better choice, a healthy choice, a present choice.
If every shoe store in America stops selling shoes, no one's going to go barefoot for 15, 20 years. No one needs shoes, for the most part. We have shoes; our problem is what to do with them.
People say I am the king of painful shoes. I don't want to create painful shoes, but it is not my job to create something comfortable. I try to make high heels as comfortable as they can be, but my priority is design, beauty and sexiness. I'm not against them, but comfort is not my focus.
My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending.
Shouldn't we suppose that many of our most painful ordeals will look quite different a million years from now, as we recall them on the New Earth? What if one day we discover that God has wasted nothing in our life on Earth? What if we see that every agony was part of giving birth to an eternal joy?
Many kids turn to selling drugs. It's not a good career choice, but they see it as a way to get money.
No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success, although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes.
I have the idea that running shoes are based on a kind of cult idea - that our feet are flawed and we need shoes to correct those flaws. The shoe companies are in the business of selling shoes. But there's no evidence from running shoe manufacturers that they're right. There's no scientific data that running shoes reduce injury.
The CHOICE Act provides students with an opportunity, rather than a one-size-fits-all solution, by giving parents a choice in what educational opportunities and programs will best prepare their student for a life and career after K-12 schooling.
Abortion, however, is a big threshold issue for me because the dominant majority of people in my state are pro-choice. I ran as a pro-choice Democrat, and she fills Sandra Day O'Connor's shoes, and they are critical shoes.
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