A Quote by Richard Jeni

If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? — © Richard Jeni
If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Carrots might be good for my eyes, but they won't straighten out the curveball.
How often, you wonder, has the direction of your life been shaped by such misunderstandings? How many opportunities have you been denied--or, for that matter, awarded--because someone failed to see you properly? How many friends have you lost, how many have you gained, because they glimpsed some element of your personality that shone through for only an instant, and in circumstances you could never reproduce? An illusion of water shimmering at the far bend of a highway.
How're the Broncos doing?" "Like a bunch of carrots." "Is that bad?" "Can carrots play baseball?" "I guess not." "Then you have your answer.
Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It's not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it's a pile of rocks next to a highway. There's actually a highway right next to it, but you don't see that in pictures.
Civilized life, if it is to be stable, must provide a harmless outlets for the impulses which our remote ancestors satisfied in hunting. In Australia, where people are few, and rabbits are many, I watched the whole populace satisfying the primitive impulse in the primitive manner by the skilful slaughter of many thousands of rabbits.
I think the reason a lot of celebrities feel insecure and want to stop eating altogether is because they see so many pictures of themselves on a daily basis. It's unhealthy how many times you see your own image - it's just constant. When you see something enough, you're going to tear it down to the point where some days you feel like you're not even pretty. I get insecure about my eyes because I once read a blog comment that said, "Her eyes are so small." I thought, Are my eyes small? Oh no - they are!
It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown.
A good photograph will prove to the viewer how little our eyes permit us to see. Most people, really, don’t see-see only what they have always seen and what they expect to see-where a photographer, if he’s good, will see everything. And better if he sees things he doesn’t expect to see.
Gregor lifted the knife and slammed it down. The tops of the carrot rolled across the table, some hitting the floor. "What are you doing?" "I'm chopping carrots." "Gregor, they are carrots! not tree branches." "I fail to see the difference.
That is another theme in the book [Dreams from My Father]. How do we exercise more empathy in our public discourse? How do we get the black to see through the eyes of the white? Or the citizen to see through the eyes of the immigrant? Or the straight to see through the eyes of the gay? That has always been a struggle in our politics.
You see how wrong I go, how ridiculous I'm making myself in your eyes by keeping on guessing wrong like this! Doesn't that help you to come out with it? Come on now!
I didn't do it,' he insisted. 'Then why did you run?' Sabrina asked. 'And send rabbits to eat us! I'm a seven-year-old girl,' Daphne said. 'Do you know how important bunny rabbits are to me?
Outside football, I just love life, you know. We're lucky to play football, to have all this body. Everyone's watching us. You see how many people, they come and watch the game. It's unbelievable, you see how many people they come. They shout your name and just enjoy life.
We measure our days out in steps of uncertainty not turning to see how far we've come. And peer down the highway from here to eternity and reach out for love on the run.
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