A Quote by Richard Jeni

In the United States economic system you can lose big or you can win big. If you lose you wind up wearing a Hefty bag and sleeping in a doorway. If you win you can have sex with Catherine Zeta Jones when you're seventy-five.

Richard Jeni

Quote Topics

Bag Big Doorway Economic Economic System Five Lose Seventy Sex Sleeping Sleeping In States System United United States Up Wearing Win Wind You Can Win Zeta

Quote Author

Richard Jeni
American - Comedian
April 14, 1957 - March 10, 2007

I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time.

Jim Varney

Catherine Zeta-Jones started out like me. Her big break in Hollywood was in 'Zorro.'

Lucy Griffiths

I think sometimes, when you're on top and all you do is win, win, win, win, win, you get lazy and lose focus. When you lose it opens your eyes and you get serious. There is always a time when it is good to lose, at the right time for you.

Usain Bolt

America is in big trouble. We don't win anymore. We lose to China. We lose to Mexico both in trade and at the border. We lose to everybody.

Donald Trump

The older you get, the more you start to realize that you can't win an argument in a relationship. You can't win a fight with your woman. Because if you lose, you lose. And if you win, you lose.

Trevor Noah

Any time you risk big you often risk losing big. You can win big but you can also lose big, but you have to be willing to take those risks.

Halle Berry

You can look at the Emmys two ways in you're nominated. It's either win-win or lose-lose. If things go very well and I win, you still have to get up in front of a group of people and risk having God knows what come out of your mouth. If you won't win, you have to breathe deeply and smile and clap with a camera in your face.

Jim Parsons

The real things to know is that folks will stand to lose more than they will to win. That?s the most important percentage there is. I mean, if they lose, they?re willin? to lose everything. If they win, they?re usually satisfied to win enough to pay for dinner and a show. The best gamblers know that.

Puggy Pearson

Sometimes when you win, you really lose. And sometimes when you lose, you really win. And sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie. And sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs.

Rosie Perez

When Congress votes for all sorts of benefits, without voting for enough taxes to pay for them, they get the support of those who have been promised the benefits, without getting grief from the taxpayers. It's strictly win-win as far as the welfare-state politicians are concerned. But it is strictly lose-lose, big-time, for the country, as deficits skyrocket.

Thomas Sowell

I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct. I've been challenged by so many people, and I don't frankly have time for total political correctness. And to be honest with you, this country doesn't have time either. This country is in big trouble. We don't win anymore. We lose to China. We lose to Mexico both in trade and at the border. We lose to everybody... We need strength, we need energy, we need quickness and we need brain in this country to turn it around.

Donald Trump

I think I can be relatively attractive when I dress up, but I'm not Julia Roberts or Catherine Zeta Jones.

Joanne Froggatt

I know what it means to play for a big club. Big clubs, it's like that: if you win, everything is good. If you lose, it's your fault, especially defenders and goalkeepers.

David Luiz

In the United States, because we are a nation of laws, you can lose an election and keep your life. In the United States, you can lose an election where you can disagree with our leaders or our government, and you won't lose your business; you won't lose your family, and you won't lose your freedom.