A Quote by Richard Jeni
It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You know, this would be a great time to get the runs, you think? I mean the sun's out, we're on the ferris wheel - what are we waiting for?
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They have the big ferris wheel and we've been out of town for two months, so he just was like, 'Mommy I want to go to Toys R Us and I don't care if you have a movie coming out and all that.' He was just being a kid. But I had to allow him to have that moment.
You never know how great a kiss can feel, when you're stopped at the top of a Ferris wheel.
Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy who's running the Ferris wheel. It's not the best seat in the house, but you see enough lights, action, people, and confusion to make you wonder if anybody knows what the hell's going on. If you're sitting out front, of course, it all rolls along as smoothly as a German train schedule, but as Willie, like any great magician, would be the first to point out, the real show is never in the center ring. As Willie always says, Fortunately, we're not in control.
You know, the next time you're guilty of anything, the next time you're charged with anything, try saying, "Hey, hey, hey, I didn't mean to run the stop sign." Or, "I didn't mean to leave the bar and get behind the wheel. I really didn't. I didn't mean to get behind the wheel after having some adult beverages." See if that works for you. And if you're saying it's not the same thing, yes, it is.
They always say 'Is there going to be a sequel to Bad Santa?' and you know, I mean, a long time ago they would talk about, you know, we're going to do a sequel to that but it was never serious. And they said 'Would you do it?' and I said out of all the movies I've done, that was a lot of fun, and maybe I would do a sequel if it ever came up and it made sense, but I said I don't think that's ever going to happen.
When I was growing up, my favorite player was Reggie Jackson - and I never got the opportunity to get an autograph from Reggie. I was so frustrated. I mean, he was my idol. And I couldn't get no autograph. I would go through punishment waiting on him (after games) because he was always the last guy to come out. And I would go back home with no autograph.
I've always been the guy who doesn't necessarily get it with women. A woman would have to say, 'I like you, I want to go out with you, you can ask me.' And still I would question it. Did she mean it?
For me, it's never been an ego situation where I have been "I'm the boss; expletive you." It's always been a situation where someone comes to me and says "I can't tolerate working with you anymore" and I would admit sometimes I wouldn't blame them for that. But I also sometimes think I'm not that difficult to figure out. I don't really know what has driven people to be so angry and bitter - people like my old keyboard player Pogo, who I've known for such a long time. I feel bad for him, but there are grievances with everything.
The gun lobby finds waiting periods inconvenient. You have only to ask my husband how inconvenient he finds his wheelchair from time to time.
I've always been shocked and waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop that a girl would ever talk to me, let alone want to marry me. They always seem to hold the power to me, and from my mother to my wife to my daughter, every time I try to really figure them out, and think I've got them pegged, I pay for it.
Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults say this to children I look into their faces. They look like someone on the top seat of the Ferris wheel who has had too much cotton candy and barbecue. They'd like to get off and be sick but everyone keeps telling them what a good time they're having.
Politics, to Ariel Sharon, was like a Ferris wheel. But he didn't make do with just staying on the wheel; he did all he could to climb to the top and stay there.
I would say that, you know, being Jewish, what has been most significant in my life is understanding what a Hitler - what horrible politics can mean to people and I think that's been one of the motivating factors in my life in fighting against racism and bigotry of all kinds because when it gets out of hand, as we have seen and we are, you know - it's obviously has unbelievable repercussions.
Every time you try to make another movie, you never know what will come of it. I can't say it ever gets easier, but it is in it's own way gratifying. I think that because no one movie that you make ever quite satisfies you, you're always feeling, "Next time I can get it right."
When you're out there in the heat of the moment and you're pitching, and it's a big situation, you're saying 'Don't throw a ball, don't give up a hit, don't walk this guy.' But the harder you want to control something the more it gets out of your control.
By-and-large, these are families that are just waiting to get out of here. They are frustrated; I would be, too. I get frustrated at the cash register counter when the paper runs out.
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