A Quote by Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
I always thought Woody Harrelson is quite a persuasive guy. He's the kind of guy who can call you up in the middle of the night and tell you, 'Let's all go get a donut!' And you're thinking, 'It's the middle of the night,' but somehow you still get up and go get a donut.
My father had nine children, and when I had my first, he said, 'None of my kids got up in the middle of the night.' And I remember thinking, 'You didn't get up in the middle of the night! Every kid gets up in the middle of the night!'
To gain credibility, you must consistently demonstrate three things: Initiative: You have to get up to go up. Sacrifice: You have to give up to go up. Maturity: You have to grow up to go up. If you show the way, people will want to follow you. The higher you go, the greater the number of people who will be willing to travel with you.
Now, as husbands go, I have to admit I did all right. Joe is unquestionably handsome, doesn't leave ragged toenail clippings scattered about the house, and has never once, in nearly five thousand days of togetherness, left the toilet seat up.
I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
For so long I focused on all that I had lost - my legs, my anonymity, even my freedom in a way. I couldn't jump in the car, blast some music and just get away for a bit. I couldn't play basketball with my brothers. I couldn't even get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom without making it some sort of production.
I would wake up really early and go into the hotel bathroom, put a towel over the toilet, and put my laptop there. I'd put my headphones on and just write. And so now when I do writing sessions, and I am stuck on a part, or I can't figure out a chorus, I'm just like, 'Give me a second,' and I'll go to that bathroom.
Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –" "Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet." "Great idea though, thanks, Mum.
Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.
Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks,
you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.
I would always stand up for women, but I don't want women's rights and all that sort of thing. I love to have men around, and I suppose if you're a true feminist, you get on and do it yourself. I love it when someone says, 'I'll get your coat' or, 'I'll look after you', or offers you a seat on the bus. I'm thrilled to bits. I'm not a feminist.
When I get a really bad bout of painful bloating and that urgency that I need to go to the toilet, and I'm out on a night out with my friends, there's been times when I've had to leave and go back. Because there's no way I want to be in that situation where I'm in a club and really unwell.
What keeps me up at night? Waking up to a scoop at another newspaper or on TV. I'm probably competitive, almost too much so. I will stay up till the Web sites at night roll over. And if they don't roll over, I'll stay up until it's done. I'll wake up at the crack of dawn, or in the middle of the night even, just to go and check and see.
Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said. Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.
I want to be like one of those little fainting goats that get scared and then just fall over. I want to go and go and then drop dead in the middle of something I'm loving to do. And if that doesn't happen, if I wind up sitting in a wheelchair, at least I'll have my high heels on.
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