A Quote by Robert Pattinson

It's funny what you really see when you're the subject of the completely bizarre gossip magazine industry. It's just like, 'WHAT?!?' All this stuff with Emilie [de Ravin, his costar in Remember Me] as well. The tabloids say stuff like 'They went on a date to an Indian restaurant.' We were doing a scene! There's a film crew there!
What I don't like is when I see stuff that I know has had a lot of improv done or is playing around where there's no purpose to the scene other than to just be funny. What you don't want is funny scene, funny scene, funny scene, and now here's the epiphany scene and then the movie's over.
I remember it made me feel better because so many of my friends at school. Were doing that stuff and doing that stuff on sleep overs. But I just didn't feel ready. It wasn't like I had any judgment of it being two women. It would have scared me as much if not more. I was like a three month period in which all the words sleep over was code for was "let's get together and touch each other's vaginas." and I was. Haunted. And I remember going home and feeling like I couldn't tell my mother even though she would've understood and probably laughed.
I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It's like, "Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich?" See? That was funny.
Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.
I remember reading Dave Barry for the first time and being like oh my God I can't believe you can do this. Watching Mel Brooks and Monty Python and SNL and all that stuff really informed me as a writer and then at high school I started a satire magazine and the college like The Lampoon really introduced me to like you know a lot of very like-minded people who really wanted to like comedy was the center of their lives.
People are sometimes like: "Oh man, you're so talented and you do a bunch of stuff." I'm not! I swear to god, I'm not. I just like learning stuff, I like doing stuff. And I feel like everybody can definitely do it.
Doing new stuff live is tough just simply because I pay my money, I stand in my seats, and I see the guys I love. And if I paid that ticket, there's a good chance that I'm there to hear the stuff that made me fall in love with 'em - we call it the "old stuff." And if an artist comes in town and dumps his entire new album on me, as a listener in a concert venue, it happens to miss out on the old stuff that I came there for. That doesn't work too well for me as a listener. Most of the time for concerts, it's the old stuff.
I love dressing up. I like going out and buying some crazy stuff. I like stuff that's new, innovative and weird. I just pick out stuff that is unique and anything that I'm really diggin'. I don't really care if it's kind of out there. That's what I'm about. I like picking stuff that is really different.
I always thought when I was doing more melodramatic stuff like Everwood that the directors were constantly reeling me in and stopping me from being funny. I've always tried to find a funny angle on things, and 99 percent of the time, it just doesn't work.
If I have enough money to support myself, I'll just give stuff away. I just, I want people to see it and I want to be able to do this for a living, you know what I mean? So it's just a balance. If I'm not doing well for five years, then I'm selling stuff, but if I'm doing well and I can afford to give stuff away, I'll always do that.
Besides film, I'd like to be the young Regis. That would be great. Going back and forth from L.A. to New York. Doing stuff on food. Doing stuff on kids. Just talking about issues that are relevant. Doing things on the Olympic Games.
Like some people just really think this is all you do, is play basketball. It's like, 'no actually there's other stuff I like doing, there's other stuff I love doing.'
I would say that I probably remember football stuff... but it's not like you see it once and then it's just there. I go back and watch film, watch plays, and, in my brain, I probably only have room for so much.
I'll say this, and it'll sound like bullshit, but it's not: I don't really pay attention to this stuff [Man Booker Prize] very much. I think part of it is I can see myself wondering who's doing what and getting jealous, and none of that's healthy for me. So I just don't really.
It's funny because when I was growing up, I was really into science fiction and fantasy as a kid. And, when I first became a screenwriter, I ended up really just doing historical drama and non-fiction based stuff, like Band of Brothers and stuff that didn't get made, but was also non-fiction.
You remember where you were doing each scene. 'Oh my God, it was so hot that day.' It's kind of cool to see a movie that you haven't seen in a long time and reflect on that stuff.
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