A Quote by Robert Schimmel

My mom told me when I was younger that when you jack off all of your dead relatives are watching. But then I figured who were they going to tell. — © Robert Schimmel
My mom told me when I was younger that when you jack off all of your dead relatives are watching. But then I figured who were they going to tell.
I love Westerns and I remember as a kid climbing up on the couch and make it into a saddle and shoot guns and fall off. I would lay there after my death and my mom would tell me to eat lunch and I'd say, 'I'm still dead, Mom!' I was Method, even then.
Now I tell my mom, I go, 'Mom, you know when I was a kid and you told me to turn off the television and go outside and play?' I'd be like, 'You literally were hurting my career when you did that. You literally stopped me from doing now, what I do for a living.'
When my son, Jack, was four, I had to make a trip to Los Angeles. I asked him if he was going to miss me. 'Not so much,' Jack told me. 'You're not going to miss me?' I said. Jack shook his head, and he said, 'Love means you can never be apart.
Wasting time just going mindless, watching your charades. When you were younger, did it occur to you 10 years from then you'd act the same age?
When guys were going out to parties, I was going to the gym. I figured, for all my mom sacrificed for me, it was the least I could do.
Nay, but Jack, such eyes! such eyes! so innocently wild! so bashfully irresolute! Not a glance but speaks and kindles some thought of love! Then, Jack, her cheeks! her cheeks, Jack! so deeply blushing at the insinuations of her tell-tale eyes! Then, Jack, her lips! O, Jack, lips smiling at their own discretion! and, if not smiling, more sweetly pouting - more lovely in sullenness! Then, Jack, her neck! O, Jack, Jack!
Nobody told me there was any idea for a sequel to 'The Exorcist.' But my agent called me to tell me they were going to do it, and there was a part for me. I said, 'But I died in the first film.' 'Well,' he told me, 'this is from the early days of Father Merrin's life.' I told him I just didn't want to do it again.
My mom told me that when the car struck me, I landed 80 feet off the road. When they found me, I was curled up in a ball with my left leg mangled and twisted and almost severed in two. They all thought I was dead.
I remember one afternoon when we were out on a golf course somewhere, and Lauren Bacall, James Garner, and Jack Lemmon were sitting there in deck chairs when I went off to do another scene. And I said something like, "Hey, where have you guys been?" And they said, "Oh, we were down at the clubhouse. We saw your scene!" And Jack Lemmon looked at James Garner, and James Garner looked back at me, and then they both looked back at me and said in unison, "You bet your ass it is!" So I've been up there with the greats. I've had my fleeting moments with theatrical genius.
I've figured out the secret. Your mind is your power; you have to work with your mind and work with your own thoughts about your own life. If you spend so much time thinking, "This industry is male-dominated. It's sexist. It's this. It's that," then that's what the picture will always be. I remember when I was coming up, I didn't have those thoughts. My mom told me I could be whatever I wanted to be and I could be as bright of a star as I was meant to be. So, that's where I put all of my focus and my thought...into what I could do. And I carry that with me now.
If no one is pissed-off with you then you are dead but just haven't figured it out yet.
You tell me that 'Date Night' was good? I'm not going to see it. I will debate you on it, having no knowledge of the footage in the film. I was next to someone on the plane watching it, and they were dozing off.
Remember that you own what happened to you. If your childhood was less than ideal, you may have been raised thinking that if you told the truth about what really went on in your family, a long bony white finger would emerge from a cloud and point to you, while a chilling voice thundered, "We *told* you not to tell." But that was then. Just put down on paper everything you can remember now about your parents and siblings and relatives and neighbors, and we will deal with libel later on.
My mom was very worried when I was starting off my career in the film industry. She never told me to not take up acting, but she would always tell me to have a backup plan so that if nothing works out in the acting career, then I can switch.
My mom's younger sister was born with Down syndrome. I was close to my grandmother when I was growing up. I remember talking to my grandmother about politics, and she told me that she regularly voted for the Democrats because she knew that they were going to look out for people like her daughter. That made an impression on me, too.
When I was younger, I would write a ton, mostly because my mom told me I had incredible creativity and a gift of using words, only these were words that didn't get me in trouble.
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