A Quote by Robin Marantz Henig
Friends and relatives might be surprised that I think of myself as lonely. I'm married to a man I not only love but like, and we spend a lot of time together. If I feel like socializing, I can usually find someone to meet for coffee or a drink.
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Coffee is real good when you drink it gives you time to think. It's a lot more than just a drink; it's something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup.
I spend a lot of my time thinking about how to spend my time. Probably too much - I probably obsess over it. My friends think I do. But I feel like I kind of have to, because these days, it feels like little bits of my time kind of slip away from me, and when that happens, it feels like parts of my life are slipping away.
The only parental authority I had was the studio. When I was a star, there was always somebody with me, to guard me. I was not allowed to be photographed with a cigarette, a drink, a cup of coffee or even a glass of water because someone might think it was liquor. When I left the studio I was already married and had two children, but I felt as sad as a child leaving home for the first time.
Contemporary families can be made in many ways. You might step up when relatives or friends are unable to meet their obligation to their children. You might marry someone who is already a parent. Or you might, as in my case, yearn to create a family and decide to adopt.
I spend a lot of time loathing the sentences that I put down on the page. Once I'm past that phase, it doesn't really matter what the routine is (coffee shop, someone else's house, my dining room table), I'm pretty fast. I go back to the start of whatever I'm working on, every half hour or so, and revise my way back to where I left off. I have my headphones on, I'm checking email, I look at Twitter and Tumblr, and drink a lot of coffee. I need a lot of distraction to work.
It's not easy to come somewhere new and have to find your place. You might feel someone doesn't like you, or you might need to find new friends. It's not easy, and I don't like this kind of thing. It's not easy, so you want to protect the players who are alone.
I don't want to stand in front of a whole lot of fakeys. If I'm going to meet someone and say hello, I want to feel like I'm really meeting that person, not a masked version. I want to give that to people when they meet me. You don't have to like it. I'm not looking for you to like it; I'm looking to be myself.
I like to go to the frat house and drink with my white friends, because anytime you go drinking at the frat house, white boys bring you a drink and hand it to you like it's a top CIA secret. They'll hand me my drink, and I'll go, 'Man, what the hell is in this?' 'Dude, don't worry. Don't ask, just drink it. I'll see you in 20 minutes.' Next thing you know, I'm buck naked, standing on a coffee table, with a cowboy hat.
I like my home to be somewhere where my friends can feel like they can put their feet up on the couch and for it to feel like really easy living. I really love to have my friends over, cook dinner for them, catch up, and spend quality time with quality people in my life.
Reading is always a way of forming a bond with other people. I'm not very good at socializing - I quite like spending time alone - so reading is a way of engaging quite deeply with the way other people think. Quite often when you meet other people socially you don't get to have a conversation of any depth. You end up talking about how well or how badly someone is doing at school or something of that sort. Questions like, "What we are," "Who we are," "Where are we going," you get those from literature and from people that spend some time thinking.
It's funny: I feel like so many people say, 'Monogamy, it's not natural; we created that for a variety of reasons,' but I think a lot of people love being married and enjoy being married and want to be married to who they're married to.
When we got married - almost 10 years ago now - we made a commitment to really be together, which means we hardly ever spend a night apart. And being madly in love is important, but I think it's equally important to be in deep like! I like this guy... we talk about everything, and we laugh a lot. Life is good!
You know, I feel like people in this country who feel really strongly about a man and a woman being the only -- the sole sort of gatekeeper of marriage should also support people staying together. I mean, a lot of heterosexual couples don't stay together, and I think that's as upsetting as two people who are really committed and loving and have been monogamous for many years wanting to ... be married and have -- share some of the same rights that this country is so uniquely qualified to give people.
I'm married to a Canadianm so I have a lot of fond thoughts about Canada. I think about the prairies of Manitoba, where my wife is from, and I have a lot of friends and relatives on both coasts and have spent a lot time in Canada from Nova Scotia to B.C. In some ways, it's a much more sane country than the U.S.
I love what I do, but I've got a life out of here. I like to spend time on the computer. I like technology. I like music. I like movies. I like to go out and party. I like my cigars, but I don't drink, and I do like to keep a low profile.
Like anybody, I like clothes, and I enjoy what I like to wear. We might have a difference in personal outfit choices. Some might not like it. But to judge someone because of their appearance is pretty foolish. If you have time to do that, I suggest you look at yourself in the mirror and spend more time developing yourself. Come on, it's 2013.
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