A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Related Quotes
I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
When people ask me why are you singing a drinking song if you don't drink anymore, because when I did drink I drank enough to sing drinking songs for the rest of my life!
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
I have a reputation for drinking a lot. Indeed, I drink quite much. However, I give it up when I wish to do so. I never, ever drink while on duty. The drinking is only for my pleasure. I do not remember neglecting my duties because of drinking even once.
I don't know if enjoy is the right word for alcohol. I like to drink, but I don't like enforced social drinking. When I don't wanna drink, I don't wanna drink. I haven't had a desire to drink for four months. When I think of the taste of it, no desire. The trouble is the wines I love I can barely afford, which is a great method to cut down on your drinking: Drink only what you can't afford.
I started drinking red wine after I stopped drinking sake and whiskey, because it's better for your heart - it's about the only thing I drink now.
I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.
One night, I went out with my teammates. I don't drink alcohol, so I wasn't drinking. This girl walked up to me; she was talking to me. She was like, 'Why aren't you drinking?' I was like, 'I just don't drink. Alcohol is nasty.' She said, 'I might have something for you.' She went and got a Shirley Temple. Then I was like, 'Ohhh, OK.'
When I was on the Knicks, and I'd have a drink - my drink would be either a Manhattan or an Old Fashioned - businessmen would be drinking only wine. As I continued to go to business dinners with successful businessmen, my drink has now also turned into wine.
Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. Never drink when you are wretched without it, or you will be like the grey-faced gin-drinker in the slum; but drink when you would be happy without it, and you will be like the laughing peasant of Italy. Never drink because you need it, for this is rational drinking, and the way to death and hell. But drink because you do not need it, for this is irrational drinking, and the ancient health of the world.
I was terrified when my doctor told me that I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me about new Zoloft or Prozac and now I just take three pills a day and I blend right into this horrible inbred corporate landscape.
I would drink and drink and then at 3 o'clock in the morning take anything that was put in front of me. And I'd sometimes be disappointed when conventional things were put in front of me. Like, I'd do a line of something and be disappointed to find it was just cocaine.
I was diagnosed with ADHD twice. I didn't believe the first doctor who told me, and I had a whole theory that ADHD was just something they invented to make you pay for medicine, but then the second doctor told me I had it.
I have a musician friend who, after reading Mountains, told me, "When I read the book, I wanted to quit music altogether and become a doctor." I told him, "Do you really think you can be a better doctor than you are a musician? Nobody needs you as a lousy doctor. Just be the one-of-a-kind, brilliant musician you are, and divert your success somehow to benefit the poor." You can achieve so much more this way.
I don't drink everywhere, as I am not a hard drinker. I also prefer not to drink in those parties where there is a huge gathering of people. For me, drinking is private.
When I woke the next morning in my room at White's Motel, I showered and stood naked in front of the mirror, watching myself solemnly brush my teeth. I tried to feel something like excitement but came up only with a morose unease. Every now and then I could see myself-truly see myself-and a sentence would come to me, thundering like a god into my head, and as I saw myself then in front of that tarnished mirror what came was 'the woman with the hole in her heart'. That was me.
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