A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, with my wife, I got no sex life. Her favorite position is facing Bloomingdale's.

Rodney Dangerfield

Quote Topics

Facing Favorite Got Her Life My Wife Position Sex Tell Wife Ya

Quote Author

Rodney Dangerfield
American - Comedian
November 22, 1921 - October 5, 2004

I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"

Rodney Dangerfield

Do what ya have to do to pay off yer debt with Heaven,’ he said, his concern for proper speech abandoned. ‘But ya do not die on me, ya understand? I can’t live without ya. Yer all I got, woman.’ Her breath caught in her lungs. ‘I don’t want to be here if you’re not.

Jana Oliver

I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.

Henny Youngman

I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

A guy needs somebody?to be near him. A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody. Don't make no difference who the guy is, long's he's with you. I tell ya, I tell ya a guy gets too lonely an' he gets sick.

John Steinbeck

I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house!

Rodney Dangerfield

My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.

Dane Cook

This treadmill lifestyle ain't workin for me... It's from ya crib to ya lab to ya job to make a profit, And at the day's end you still got nothing accomplished.

Phonte

And I'll tell ya, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful! Plus, I love saying 'my wife.' Once I started saying it, I couldn't stop - 'my wife' this, 'my wife' that...it's an amazing way to begin a sentence.

Jerry Seinfeld

If you're married, and you have a wife, and you really love your wife, is it good enough to only say to your wife 'I love her' the day you get married? Or should you tell her every single day when you wake up and every opportunity? And that's how I feel about my relationship with Jesus Christ is that it is the most important thing in my life.

Tim Tebow

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.

Rodney Dangerfield

Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.

Lenny Bruce

I haven't got a car or a house. I've got a wife, but I didn't pay for her! I spend all my money on my glorious wife. She's here with a knife at my throat!