A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.

Rodney Dangerfield

Quote Topics

Egg Last Last Night Me My Wife Night Only Purpose Sex Time Wife

Quote Author

Rodney Dangerfield
American - Comedian
November 22, 1921 - October 5, 2004

I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"

Rodney Dangerfield

You never knew the last time you were seeing someone. You didn't know when the last argument happened, or the last time you had sex, or the last time you looked into their eyes and thanked God they were in your life. After they were gone? That was all you thought about. Day and night.

J.R. Ward

Yet another last night. The last night at home, the last night in the ghetto, the last night in the train, and, now, the last night in Buna. How much longer were our lives to be dragged out from one 'last night' to another?

Elie Wiesel

Good sex is an all-day affair. You can't treat your wife like a servant and expect her to be eager to sleep with you at night. Your wife's sexual responsiveness will be determined by how willingly you help out with the dishes, the kids' homework, or that leaky faucet that drips throughout the night.

Kevin Leman

With Hairspray, we had a great experience. I always think of the last time I saw Divine: He was in the last booth in the back of the Odeon. Now every time I go in there, I look at that table. It was a wonderful night.Hairspray had been out a week; it was a hit. If I had to pick a night that was going to be the last night.

John Waters

We exist in this weirdly schizo culture, where sex is everywhere in the media, and yet, at the same time, you don't sit down and have a conversation about what you did in bed last night with your friends. Despite the ubiquity of sex, it's still a taboo when it comes to day-to-day conversation.

Mary Roach

Every one-night-stand or man in a one-night-stand is like every other one-night-stand or man in a one-night-stand because the sex in a one-night-stand is without time and only time allows value.

Kathy Acker

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Les Dawson

This is all me. That's why all my products come in this dragon egg literally 'cause I'm like, I laid an egg for you, girl. Every little last detail is so Nikita and extra and wild. I'm creating things I've always wanted to see in the beauty industry.

Nikita Dragun

With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

Tommy Cooper

The ideal length of time for sex to last is the entire relationship, breaking only for snacks.

Tig Notaro

You never know when it will be the last time you'll see your father, or kiss your wife, or play with your little brother, but there's always a last time. If you could remember every last time, you'd never stop grieving.