A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away! — © Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
The best car I ever had was a Mazda 626. I paid $72 for it. The guy told me if I towed it off his property I could do whatever I wanted to it. So I paid to have it towed to my house and me and my step-dad fixed it up and drove it until I totalled it.
I lived in my car in Hollywood for a year, and then it got towed. My... apartment got towed. How... does that happen?
I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.
When my car broke down in L.A., nobody stopped. They just kept whizzing by.
When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.
I just got a car, and I gotta say, this car is very cryptic. The very first day I drove it, a light came on out of nowhere: 'Check engine.' Could they be any more vague? What if a light came on and said, 'Problem'?
I spent my entire first pay cheque from 'Cracker,' a TV show on ABC, on an Audi because my other car broke down and I needed to get to work.
I spent my entire first pay cheque from Cracker, a TV show on ABC, on an Audi because my other car broke down and I needed to get to work.
So I go to my first book signing, and these two girls came up and gave me a piece of paper: '10 reasons you should date our dad. He climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. He's a lawyer.' He didn't know what was going on. He didn't even know me. They called him, and he came down and asked me out that day. Now I'm dating their dad!
I borrowed my friends car the other day in an attempt to persuade my husband that we needed a car and literally this is true, in the first day of borrowing the car, I got three tickets and I rear-ended it.
I borrowed my friend's car the other day in an attempt to persuade my husband that we needed a car and literally this is true, in the first day of borrowing the car, I got three tickets and I rear-ended it.
I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t
I got called to write for Aerosmith, nothing ever came of it, but I ended up spending the day with Steven Tyler and going to his house and we sat down at the piano, just me and him, and he sang for me and played, then he asked me to sing for him, and then we sang harmony together. That was just a big moment where it was like 'oh my god, my life is crazy!' It was really cool.
It was my father who - after, at age 15, I had attempted unsuccessfully to drive the family car using a 'borrowed' key and knocked down a wall of the garage - convinced me over the telephone not to run away from home and who then came home from work not to punish me but rather to console and comfort me.
I went to see my mother the other day, and she told me this story that I'd completely forgotten about how, when we were driving together, she would pull the car over, and by the time she had gotten out of the car, and gone around the car to let me out of the car, I would have already gotten out of the car and pretended to have died.
There's a lot of rappers out there, a lot of gay girls expressing themselves; I'm not the first to say it; I'm not the first to rap about it. But I'm the one who broke down those doors that everybody has been trying to break down. I did that. I'm the one who went triple platinum first.
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