A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

Quote Topics

Medical Born Doctor Mother Slapped Ugly

Quote Author

Rodney Dangerfield
American - Comedian
November 22, 1921 - October 5, 2004

I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

Phyllis Diller

Being born was the worse and the first mistake I ever made. The doctor didn't spank me, he just slapped me in the face.

Dolly Parton

I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.

Rodney Dangerfield

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.

Eoin Colfer

I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother

Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born, the doctor looked at my mother and said, "Congratulations, you have an actor!"

Sally Field

When I was born, the doctor looked at my mother and said, 'Congratulations, you have an actor!'

Sally Field

I went to elementary school in L.A. I was born in L.A. My mother was from Redondo Beach. My father was French. He died six months before I was born, so my mother went home. I was born there. Not the childhood that most people think. Middle-class, raised by my mother. Single mom.

Philippe Cousteau, Jr.

Some people are born ugly. It's not their fault, and I for one have never held it against a man that he is ugly. but others and I count myself among them are born with handsome features. That's a gift that should not be lightly taken away.

David Gemmell

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

Tommy Cooper

She was ugly from the front, and I said ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly. Well, I could handle it behind her.

Lyle Lovett

I have two kids, and when my oldest was first born, it was the most vulnerable feeling in the world. I remember taking him to his first doctor's appointment, and on the sheet, it said "mother," and I put my mom's name. I was like, "Oh, right, I ... I'm the mother!" You just feel so vulnerable.

Kathryn Hahn

I was born into the Chicago branch of Negroland. My father was a doctor, a pediatrician, and for some years head of pediatrics at Provident, the nation's oldest black hospital. My mother was a social worker who left her job when she married, and throughout my childhood, she was a full-time wife, mother, and socialite.

Margo Jefferson

A newborn child has to cry, for only in this way will his lungs expand. A doctor once told me of a child who could not breathe when it was born. In order to make it breathe the doctor gave it a slight blow. The mother must have thought the doctor cruel. But he was really doing the kindest thing possible. As with newborn children the lungs are contracted, so are our spiritual lungs. But through suffering God strikes us in love. Then our lungs expand and we can breathe and pray.

Sadhu Sundar Singh

The great crime which the moneyed classes and promoters of industry committed in the palmy Victorian days was the condemning of the workers to ugliness, ugliness, ugliness: meanness and formless and ugly surroundings, ugly ideals, ugly religion, ugly hope, ugly love, ugly clothes, ugly furniture, ugly houses, ugly relationship between workers and employers. The human soul needs actual beauty more than bread.

D. H. Lawrence

My mother used to tell this corny story about how the doctor smacked me on the behind when I was born and I thought it was applause, and I have been looking for it ever since.

Kathy Bates

A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

Quote Topics

Quote Author

Related Quotes

Related Authors