A Quote by Russell Howard

She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!".

Russell Howard

Quote Topics

Birthday Get Identity Identity Theft Me She Theft Want Your

Quote Author

Russell Howard
English - Comedian
Born: March 23, 1980

I use a shredder for bank statements and phone bills. Most people use ribbon shredders that cut things straight: we can put those back together in an hour. Look for a security microcut shredder, which cuts papers into confetti.

Frank Abagnale

When you're Shredder for Halloween as a kid, and now you get to play him, it's like a childhood dream come to life.

Brian Tee

I am made of awesome." Kaia the Wing Shredder

Gena Showalter

I wish I was a shredder that could play everything, but I don't have the patience.

Dave Navarro

She had been critical of his new torch song, "A Side Order of Heartache, Please," suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.

Woody Allen

And Oliver North was really a good soldier, up to the last moment, shoving memos into the shredder and defending the policy to the end.

Bobby Ray Inman

My fans, they know my dad as Guitar Guy or whatever, and he's kind of just this shredder that plays on my records sometimes. But they don't know his ear and how rich his harmonic scope is.

Synyster Gates

I started playing the acoustic guitar for more singer-songwriter type stuff. I bet if I would have gotten more approval for my "rock playing", I might be a world class shredder.

Jill Sobule

I am an old-school guitar player. I'm not an '80s-'90s sort of shredder who plays a million notes a minute. I am way more '60s-'70s kind of style, and I write very '60s-'70s.

Tobias Forge

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, but now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips.

Mitch Hedberg

We hear a lot about identity theft when someone takes your wallet and pretends to be you and uses your credit cards. But the more serious identity theft is to get swallowed up in other people's definition of you.

Stephen Covey

Patriotism threatens free speech with death. It is infuriated by thoughtful hesitation, constructive criticism of our leaders and pleas for peace. It despises people of foreign birth. It has specifically blamed homosexuals, feminists and the American Civil Liberties Union. In other words, the American flag stands for intimidation, censorship, violence, bigotry, sexism, homophobia and shoving the Constitution through a paper shredder. Whom are we calling terrorists here?

Barbara Kingsolver

I'm tempted to say, 'Writing treatments is like designing a film by hiring six million monkeys to tear out pages of an encyclopedia, then you put the pages through a paper-shredder, randomly grab whatever intact lines are left, sing them in Italian to a Spanish deaf-mute, and then make story decisions with the guy via conference call.' But no... compared to writing treatments, that makes sense, too.

Terry Rossio

John McCain is falling down on the job. He has gotten weak. He has gotten old. I do want to wish him a happy birthday. He is going to be 80 on Monday and I want to give him the best birthday present ever, the gift of retirement.

Kelli Ward

I've realized that a lot of people come to me because of what's called identity. In the sense of "he's like me" - more like identification. Identity is one of those nonsense words: it's been used so much it doesn't mean anything. As individuals, we don't want to stay the same; identity means sameness, and we don't want to be the same, we want to keep changing, we want to grow, we want to become something else. We want to evolve. So when people come to me, it's about resonance - it goes back to that word.

Vijay Iyer

It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Frank Carson

A Quote by Russell Howard

Quote Topics

Quote Author

Related Quotes

Related Authors