A Quote by Samantha Bee
Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable!
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I spent the first half of my career learning what to put into my work, and the second half learning what to leave out.
Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong.
After my last girlfriend broke up with me, I looked at how our relationship had gone and how my previous relationships had gone, and even though those girlfriends had all been very nice women, I realized that I did not like being a boyfriend. I didn't like that role, so I thought I had to figure out some other way to, you know, have sex. And I much prefer paying for sex to being a boyfriend.
Giving a reader a sex scene that is only half right is like giving her half a kitten. It is not half as cute as a whole kitten; it is a bloody, godawful mess. A half-good sex scene is not half as hot; it actually moves into the negative numbers, draining any heat from the surrounding material.
I certainly think that there's a little bit of me in all of my characters, because I feel like the only way you can write is if you put a little bit of yourself in there.
College is such a unique time because you're learning a little bit how to be an adult. You're learning how to take care of yourself without parental influence, and you're exposed to so many great minds. I feel like I didn't even know how to think until I got to college.
That's actually pretty tame, but the fact that it was coming from this unexpected adorable little 17-year-old, I thought I'd be getting a letter about her first rock show, but it's nothing like that - she gives me a tampon. It's a true testament to how the majority of our fan base - and I say this in the most respectful and best way I can - they're little freaks.
In my day, the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren't available.
I believe that you have a boyfriend for certain times of your life, and I think the boyfriend who is your most beautiful first boyfriend is not the boyfriend that you're with in college, and your college boyfriend is not your first boyfriend!
I got hit up for a tampon commercial and so I asked [JD and Jo] if they had anything. Jo sent that over and I was like, "I love this track. Oh my god. It's so upbeat. It's so positive. It would be so great for a tampon commercial." That commercial never came through, so then I just had it. I was like, "That would be great for a Hillary [Clinton] song." I think it's so funny that it could be a tampon commercial.
When I go to throw a punch, actually, my intention is to hit somebody. That's just second nature to me. So you have to just rewire yourself. It's not something where you have to sit and subconsciously think about it, but you kind of have to just put yourself in that mode and go with it. Learning the fight scenes, I've never had to learn choreography before, so learning the fight scenes was like learning a dance or something like that. I had a little bit of influence in the fight scenes and I tried to put as much influence there as I could, but I had fun doing it.
How do you introduce boyfriend C to boyfriend A after boyfriend A has been such a good sport, of late, about boyfriend B, who is no longer in the picture?
In some ways, I was a little bit surprised [by how dominant we were] but then I look at the players in our changing room and it doesn't surprise me because we've got quality in there. If we click and play well like we did in the first half, we can open up any team.
The first half of life is learning to be an adult-the second half is learning to be a child.
For the artist who practises photography, capturing the image is learning how to sketch on some medium, but is only half the challenge; learning how to print is applying a subjective pallet to that sketch, and completes the creative process.
I think that's what's great about being an actress is you get to learn so many different things like that, like learning a little bit of Tibetan here, learning a Southern accent there.
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