A Quote by Sandra Newman
You're getting like an attitude. What you get put through for just wanting something more out of life. Makes you vulnerable. Inside, that tug of desperation, trying not to be excited, maybe this is it, and it's usually freaks and you want to shout I'm not like you.
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I do think it's getting more and more rare in this country to raise a kid with the attitude that creativity is something valuable. The idea of trying to make the effort to produce something, to put something out into the world, rather than just taking in all the stuff the world's putting out at you.
Getting a life’ is something only a complete idiot could believe. Like you can just drive to a store and get a life. See it in its shiny box and look inside the plastic window and catch a glimpse of yourself in a new life and say, ‘Wow, I look much happier — I think this is the life I need to get!’, take it to the counter, ring it up, put it on your credit card. If getting a life was that easy, we’d be one blissed-out race.
I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
When I started that's how I wrote because I didn't know any better. I was just like "I want to make music." Then there were all these things that I learned to get myself over certain humps, but I think it just comes down to: do I have something to say or not? If I'm feeling something I should try to get that out, and maybe it's not words, but trying to turn it into something.
I'm just trying to have fun, and maybe the way I hold myself kind of freaks people out. I don't feel like an outsider, and I think my friends feel the same way I do. Now that we're playing to larger audiences, maybe we're weird to some people. But I'm trying to express what I am.
We kind of reached this point in life where we don't really want to put out anything just to put something out. We really don't want it to be like, 'Two years are up. You've had your break; now do another record and get it out there.'
I want to get out of the way of the actors. I want to get out of their eye lines. I want to them to stop thinking they're making a movie. I want them to just go and live. It's like you take these great actors and put them in an aquarium of life, and just watch them swim. That's what makes editing tough because you get all these beautiful, unplanned moments.
I don't get the impression that most sources of media - like television and movies - are trying to get out a positive message, necessarily. My impression is they're trying to get a message out that promotes their personal opinion, position or belief and they're trying to do something that makes money. They want to turn a buck.
I've been asked to do 'I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!' and I do get asked to do all sorts of things like that - but I don't want to put my career on hold. I'd have to take three weeks off to do something like that. Maybe it's something I'd think about after it's all ended.
The day Caleb touched my hand and I saw all those things, I was excited. Yes, a little freaked but excited more. I felt like...everything I ever needed was right there. I still feel like that. It's not something you can just turn off and I wouldn't want to. I want him more than I need him.
All I know about getting something that you want is that there are three essential things: wanting, trying and getting the opportunity, the breaks. None works alone without the others. Wanting is basic. Trying is up to you. And the breaks - I do know this, they always happen.
I wondered why it had to be so poisonous. Oleanders could live through anything, they could stand heat, drought, neglect, and put out thousands of waxy blooms. So what did they need poison for? Couldn't they just be bitter? They weren't like rattlesnakes, they didn't even eat what they killed. The way she boiled it down, distilled it, like her hatred. Maybe it was a poison in the soil, something about L.A., the hatred, the callousness, something we didn't want to think about, that the plant concentrated in its tissues. Maybe it wasn't a source of poison, but just another victim.
For whatever reason, the success still blows my mind - that I'm able to talk to people about the music I've written. I always felt like there was something there because you don't put out music unless you have a sense that people will maybe like what you're doing or you're standing for something artistically. I don't mess with that. It's more about just music and trying to keep the integrity, I guess.
I just don't like getting scared, like when people hide and jump out of places. That totally freaks me out. I'm not a fan of it.
Now I don't want to take roles just for money. It's like trying on the right dress. When you go shopping for a dress, you can try to make something work 'cause you can't find the right one, but you always have that memory of the time you put on the perfect dress and you were like, "Oh, my god, I love myself in this dress! I'm excited to go out and have people see me in this!" That's the way that I'm looking at the roles that I want to do. I'm not looking for anything specific, except for something that has heart, and that I will enjoy doing that feeds my soul.
I'm like a child inside and I really get excited, so sometimes when I'm trying to go to bed, I'm so excited about the next day that I can't go to sleep.
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