People like to talk a lot about me, about how I have anxiety or social disorders. I'll admit to anxiety, but it has nothing to do with media or being in front of a camera or being around people. It has to do with dealing with the sparring that I'm going to have or the workouts that I'm going to have from day to day.
Anxiety is so pervasive in my work, it's like it's not even a thing because it's always there. Like air. I have to work through a layer of anxiety to get to anything else. It's embarrassing to me when people point out to me all the anxiety I portray in my work. I don't ever want to write about anxiety again but it'd be like leaving a huge gap in the picture.
Rational anxiety is when you're aware of the source of your anxiety. Like, if I have to host an award show or talk to millions of people on the radio, I'm going to feel anxious, and I know why. Irrational anxiety is when I'm leaving CVS, and there's a car behind me, and I'm wondering if he's following me home.
Even having to do the amount of press that I have to do is dreadful and gives me so much anxiety. After having done this whole slew of press for 'Big Love', now I'll have anxiety dreams for like a week and a half about all the stupid things I said.
Even having to do the amount of press that I have to do is dreadful and gives me so much anxiety. After having done this whole slew of press for 'Big Love,' now I'll have anxiety dreams for like a week and a half about all the stupid things I said.
There are lots of things, including changing the kind of inner dialog, that can mitigate anxiety. And yes, there are people who have the glass half full and glass half empty, and I'm afraid the glass is going to break and I'll cut myself on the shards.
There is great beauty in going through life without anxiety or fear. Half our fears are baseless, and the other half discreditable.
Seems like half my anxiety dreams are about airports.
I've battled mental health problems - first, anxiety, and later the depression that anxiety can trigger - on and off for about half my life. Which I don't think is breaking news to anyone: it's something I've been honest about, both privately and publicly, as much as I can.
I'm learning what triggers me. What to stay away from. What I do like and what I don't like. To me, I've learned so much about myself that now I'm a stronger person. But I still deal with anxiety. Anxiety doesn't go away.
It's quite pretentious, really, isn't it? The notion the audience is going to be interested in you for an hour and a half. Think too much about that and anxiety takes over.
Its quite pretentious, really, isnt it? The notion the audience is going to be interested in you for an hour and a half. Think too much about that and anxiety takes over.
Now that I think about it, my 40th birthday was the most anxiety I've ever had, and my wedding was also the second time I've had that much anxiety. So I'm starting to realize that I can't be throwing these big bash parties because I need to own that I get anxiety with a lot of people diverting their attention to me.
If I were to sum up the negative reactions to my work, I think there are two primary causes: one is that if there is discourse about anxiety it is necessarily going to induce anxiety. It will represent a return of the repressed for a great many people.
I remember when I first came out, it was like half and half, half the female fighters were like, 'I understand why she did it, and I'll fight her,' and half said I shouldn't be in the cage and said horrible, horrific transphobic comments about me.
Going to the gym was never about 'working out' like it is for most people. To me, It was a matter of life or death. It was either me or the weights-and I was going to win. I've always had that competitive streak, whether it was in the gym, on the stage, or In anything else I did.