A Quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Yes, but if we hurt the Abadonna in the process, we’re going to find out what it feels like to be turned inside out. Literally. Like most beings, I actually like the fact that my skin is outside my body. (Urian)
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I try to convey what it feels like and sounds like and smells like and looks like inside of my particular skin, to move through the world as a black American woman in her mid-twenties.
A face is like the outside of a house, and most faces, like most houses, give us an idea of what we can expect to find inside.
Many of us are caught in separateness and we look for love out there, out there. But then as we proceed inside there will be the love. The universe is an example of love. Like a tree. Like the ocean. Like my body. Like my wheelchair. I see the love.
I do like to point out the trick putts, the ones that look like they go one way but actually go another. I think the audience likes to know when a putt looks like it's two inches outside left, but it's actually two inches outside right.
My dad's from that generation like a lot of immigrants where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay this thing like the American dream tax: like you're going to endure some racism, and if it doesn't cost you your life, well hey, you lucked out. Pay it; there you go, Uncle Sam. I was born here, so I actually had the audacity of equality.
The way I pictured it, all this grief would be like a winter night when you're standing outside. You'll warm up once you get used to the cold. Except after you've been out there for awhile, you feel the warmth draining out of you and you realize the opposite is happening; you're getting colder and colder, as the body heat you brought outside with you seeps out of your skin. Instead of getting used to it, you get weaker the longer you endure it.
For so long, it was just my secret. It burned inside me, and I felt like I was carrying something important, something that made me who I was and made me different from everybody else. I took it with me everywhere, and there was never a moment when I wasn't aware of it. It was like I was totally awake, like I could feel every nerve ending in my body. Sometimes my skin would almost hurt from the force of it, that's how strong it was. Like my whole body was buzzing or something. I felt almost, I don't know, noble, like a medieval knight or something, carrying this secret love around with me.
When you transition, it's a long process. Some people are so, like, ignorant about it. They're like, 'Oh she's a girl tomorrow.' It's not like that. You have to literally, you take all this medication. It's really hard on your body.
So why the sudden girlspeak, Urian? Neither one of us is really into discussing our feelings…and no offense, I like the fact we don’t. (Acheron) I do too most times and I’m truly grateful you don’t pry, but as a man who defied everything he once valued in this world and one who sacrificed the love of a father he worshiped…even though it ended badly, the days I had with Phoebe were worth every wound I’ve suffered. (Urian)
Now you've got people who don't really have the skills, because technology hides it, going out and putting these crappy singles out, and because that's all there really is, people basically eat it like hamburgers. It's become very, very commercialized. Which wouldn't bother me as much if people actually had talent. When I listen to something and the first thing I notice is that it's been turned into crap, I shut it off and throw it out the window of my car. Like it's the most offensive thing to me.
This is quite difficult 'cause I have a really flat head, and so it's quite difficult to get a correct angle. And you can't go up from down below as well, 'cause I've got, like, rock solid gelled hair. And so, like, it was odd. I don't know, sometimes I feel like my head is being, like, turned inside out. Like that episode of Ren & Stimpy when he's inside his own belly button. I don't know.
You turned your head to look at me. Your eyes looked so big in your face, so mysterious — wide and flickering like a butterfly-wing mask. When you saw me the wails turned to sobs, and then just quieter heaves of your body. I held out my finger through the bars. Then you reached out and curled your fingers around mine, so tight. I knew you recognized me. That was the first time I knew I had a heart inside my body.
I was going on this desert adventure with some friends and we were like, "How amazing would it be to just drag all these mirrors out there?" A lot of times I do things as an impulse and find out my inspirations afterward. Even with songs and lyrics, it can take me years to find out what I was actually trying to do.
There is a huge misconception that if you do something like hot yoga, you'll burn more calories, and the opposite is true. You want to heat your body from the inside out, not the outside in.
I like how my body feels when I'm in shape; I love how it feels after I work out each day. Fitting in the clothes I like to wear comfortably and living a healthy lifestyle is important to me.
Because what if I got to know you and you turned out to be just like they said? What if you weren’t the person I hoped you were? That, more than anything, would have hurt the most.
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