A Quote by Simone Elkeles
He may be out of my life physically, but he'll always be a part of me. I can't let go even if I wanted to.
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I'm part of the generation that grew up with great rappers like 2Pac and Biggie and people like Amy Winehouse. We've seen a lot of different artists come and go. Even people who are still here, they seem consumed and blinded by fame. It may not have taken them out physically, but they have been taken out.
The most important part for me is mentally. Physically, I know I'm going to put the work in. That's not even a question. But mentally you may have some days where it's tougher.
It's weird, I was such a survivor and so wanted to be a part of life while I was trying to snuff out the life that was inside of me. I had this duality of trying to kill myself with drugs, then eating really good food and exercising and going swimming and trying to be a part of life. I was always going back and forth on some level.
I always wanted to be an actor, so part of me is split between the artistic side and the physical side, but then physically I was just born as quite a healthy specimen!
I played baseball my entire life, up through college and everything, so working out and being physically active was always a huge part of my life. I'll spend at least a couple of hours in the gym a day.
Sometimes I would get invited to a party or to go out to dinner by one of them and I would decline. Part of me wanted to go, but those kind of outings always made me feel even more alienated than usual. Hearing them talk made me feel lonely and hateful at the same time. Lonely because I didn't fit in, never did. When I was reminded, it hurt. And hateful because it reaffirmed what I already knew, that I was alone and on the outside.
There's the part of me that's the organizer, part of me that's the artist, part of me that's the person who, even with those two things, wants to figure out what my place in the world is. How to engage with it and whether my life has any meaning.
My relationship with God has gotten so much stronger. He's always had his hand on me. He always guided me. I didn't always go where he wanted me to go. But He always had me. Now that I'm actually listening and being obedient, life is so much better.
I didn't start running because somebody asked me to become a runner. Just like I didn't become a novelist because someone asked me to. One day, out of the blue, I wanted to write a novel. And one day, out of the blue, I started to run-simply because I wanted to. I've always done whatever I felt like doing in life. People may try to stop me, and convince me I'm wrong, but I won't change.
I wanted a fulfilling life, what every person wants. And then I just made a decision to leave music to venture out and go after what it is I always wanted, and that was total life prosperity.
There are things I've always wanted to do. Things I may not be able to do, but I never really ruled them out - like running a marathon. It's all a matter of timing for me. I suppose I could probably do it if I planned it out right with medication. I don't set a whole lot of goals. It smacks a little bit of will to me, and I find that will is not the way to go for me.
When I go to Florida for Christmas I always take my nieces and nephews out on excursions, ... I become like a big kid again. We go on all the big rides at the theme parks or I stick them in go-karts where their feet can't quite reach the pedals. I think that if you can continue to have the child at heart you may grow old physically but you will stay young mentally.
But that's a part of life; you're going through and nothing ever works out how you wanted. Nothing ever completed cleanly the way that you wanted. It is sloppy and messy, and when you think it's over, 'Oh great. We have a bit more to do.' There's always another bit of road ahead, even when you think you've gotten to the end.
Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather.
I wanted the past to go away, I wanted to leave it, like another country; I wanted my life to close, and open like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song where it falls down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery; I wanted to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know, whoever I was, I was alive for a little while.
You may have success in life, but then just think of it - what kind of life was it? What good was it - you've never done the thing you wanted to do in all your life. I always tell my students, go where your body and soul want to go. When you have the feeling, then stay with it, and don't let anyone throw you off.
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