We're dealing with men here. What we're trying to do is help them become the best players they can be, and we're all collectively trying to win games. So what I always tell people is that the way you earn these players' respect is, do you make them a better football player?
Sometimes I was wrong about my players. Sometimes I want more and more from them; sometimes I am so demanding, but they showed me how good they are.
Sometimes you need to encourage them sometimes even to comfort them, let them know I trust them. Sometimes you need to tell the truth, being more aggressive. That's management. I need to put the players in the best possible conditions.
I think the best players in the world make the players around them better. And I'm always trying to do that.
Sometimes the hurdles aren't really hurdles at all. They're welcome challenges, tests.
I am human. I am messy. I'm not trying to be an example. I am not trying to be perfect. I am not trying to say I have all the answers. I am not trying to say I'm right. I am just trying - trying to support what I believe in, trying to do some good in this world, trying to make some noise with my writing while also being myself.
As an English major I was familiar with the stories of dozens of writers trying to get their work done among the multifarious diversions of the world and the hurdles of their own vices. A professor had said that what saved writers is that they, like politicians, had the illusion of destiny that allowed them to overcome obstacles no matter how nominal their work.
When you educate and develop your players, it is important they recognise you are sometimes crazy and a child and want to play football. Even though I am a manager, there will always be a good relationship with them. They know I am not only the guy who tells them ideas but that I can also be a crazy child as well - and that is important.
There are hurdles to overcome in sport and in life. Sport is a very valuable learning ground for how to live your life in the best possible way.
Friends ask me to pick the best 11 players, but sometimes the best 11 players are not the best team. So it's something that you have to work together.
I try to play like I did when I was a young boy playing in my garden. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not so good, but I try to always make sure I give my best to help the team, even if I am not having the best game myself.
I've always been able to stay focused on trying to recruit good players and trying to develop those players.
I know the questions will be around the money, the amount Chelsea had to spend to bring him here but that's the reality of modern football. Big teams only want big players, big players are in big clubs, big clubs want to keep their big players.
In the Under-21s, I played good football for several years, trying to play the same game as the best and with some very good players.
Sometimes it can be more difficult to play in Europe, as you are playing against the very best players, but I like the big games.
You have to make efforts to overcome the hurdles in love.