A Quote by Sonya Deville
I just think I'm very honest and I say how I feel. Some people like that about me. Some people hate that about me.
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I like to think I've been a good example and an inspiration to some people. And some people say that about me, but I'm just going about my work and doing what I do best. I'm a very professional 'Me.'
One of my struggles is that I'm a glutton. There's always those very simple, long, old-ass things, but they're very real to me, and I'm sitting in them, and they're swirling in my mind all the time. I tell people about it and they think, "Why don't you just go and make some money, go get a big-screen TV, or look at the Internet." Or they say, "Go create some introspective art." I just want to explode. I don't know how everybody else is able to walk around so calm. It's amazing to me when I see people walking so calmly down the street. I envy them, but I also kind of hate them.
People think, for some reason, that I don't care about creativity and art, or helping people. So I would say that the biggest misconception is, when you think about me, when you think about my name, I don't want you to think about design or clothes or music. I want you to think about a person that's just trying to help people.
People say to me, 'You're a genius; you're great.' I don't know if I'll ever feel that way about myself. Some things, I feel like, are better left for other people to say, and I'm just not into, like, tooting my own horn or bragging or anything.
Sometimes I'm just a little bit too honest. There was some things that were going on behind the scenes that I didn't like because it's not what hip-hop is about. Hip-hop is about honesty and it's about being real to the people, and I kinda felt like there's some instances where some artists aren't 100% honest with the people. Their integrity is lacking sometimes. And sometimes it comes out.
When people ask me about modeling, what it was like, I say, "It was fabulous!" If you can use it in the right way - to travel to meet other people, to learn how to dress, to make some money - I think it's great. But I also think it takes girls. If they don't know how to handle themselves, or if they do it just for a little time and are not successful, then they get terribly depressed about themselves.
Some people are guilty when they win. Some people, "Ah, you know, it's so unfortunate, some people had to lose." I mean, even some modern-day competitors, athletes have a guilt complex about winning. They think it isn't fair. That's not how you win. You don't feel guilty when you wine, and you don't feel sorry for anybody about it.
People say to the mentally ill, ‘You know so many people think the world of you.’ But when they don’t like themselves they don’t notice anything. They don’t care about what people think of them. When you hate yourself, whatever people say it doesn’t make sense. ‘Why do they like me? Why do they care about me?’ Because you don’t care about yourself at all.
It's funny. I'm attracted to things that don't have any impact on life. People say I've done a great thing for women. I don't think I have. People say I've given people courage. That makes me feel good, but I don't see how I do that. I think my running is a selfish thing. But it provides the challenge that allows me to feel good about myself. How can I expect to do well in other activities if I don't feel good about myself?
Some men don't want their women to speak up, and then other men are attracted to that very thing. But as a woman, you don't want to be just window dressing. I've probably been unattractive to some men because I do say what I feel and what I think. You can be political about it, but I don't have a red flag. I don't have a mechanism in my head that prevents me from saying what I think, or if something upsets me or if I feel like I'm being degraded. I come from a family of very outspoken women. I can't imagine living in a time when you couldn't express what you felt.
Some people say I'm saying what they wanna say. Some people don't agree. Some people are outraged. Some people want to see what the album is about. To me, hip-hop's been dead for years. We all should know that, come on. With that being said, then, the object of the game now is to make money off of exploiting it. That's what it's all about - get this money. That's basically what I'm saying.
People hate me for whatever reasons they come up with, or they hate me because their friends said they should. What can I do about it? What can I do about people who look at things the wrong way? At the end of the day it's like, 'You're wrong, I'm just a skateboarder. How can I help you?'
The best thing about me is that I am generally very honest - not hurtfully honest, but honest. The worst thing about me is that everybody can make me feel guilty. I feel responsible about things that don't even concern me.
I'm supposed to be a christian, but most days I don't feel like I can even presume to say that about myself any longer. I have a lot of mad left over. When I can't sleep, I think about the other people who didn't care how much pain and trouble they caused me. And I think about how good I'd feel if they died.
I don't think it's something that people would ask a man. Some people make a huge deal out of the fact that I sing about drinking all the time, but I don't think of it as singing about drinking. It's singing about emotions, and sometimes that centers around drinking. To me, I'm writing about things that I'm going through that mean something to me, but some people just reduce it to: "She must drink all the time." But if a guy sings about that sort of thing, no one really looks twice.
He shook his head. "Some people think that they like music, but they have no idea what it's really about. They're kindding themselves. Then there are people who feel strongly about music, but just aren't listening to the right stuff. They're misguided. And then there are people like me."
"People like you," I said. "What kind of people are those?"
"The kind who live for music and are constantly seeking it out, anywhere they can. Who can't imagine a life without it. They're enlightened."
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