A Quote by Stephan Pastis

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes. — © Stephan Pastis
If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.
If you put me in 'South Park,' that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.
An hour show panics me a lot less than five minutes at the O2. How do you put yourself across and make sure people have a good time in five minutes?
I do squats until I fall over and pass out. So what? It’s not going to kill me. I wake up five minutes later and I’m OK
I don't sleep much. It takes me a long time to fall asleep. I'm a bit of an insomniac but, when I fall asleep, I don't ever want to wake up.
Something like Nightmare On Elm Street, to me, was kind of an examination of levels of consciousness and the pain of facing the truth, and how easy it is to fall asleep, or want to fall asleep.
The first cut I do is usually between five and 10 minutes shorter then the cut that we release. Anything I think isn't working or might not work, I don't even put it in the director's cut. And usually it's the studio suggesting I put stuff back in, as opposed to studios saying, "You got to lose 40 minutes," they are always saying, "You've got to gain five minutes."
Five minutes before I went on, I looked at my manager and said, I'm going to get booed. I know it's going to happen. And you're responsible because you put me on here. It was horrible. I've never been more hurt in my entire life.
My sister could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. She would fall asleep on the train. Me, I never slept. Still. I have a hard time sleeping. But I used to admire her ability to wake up late.
People may see us on TV for only five minutes - but there's a lot going on behind that five minutes. There's 15 hours of work around it.
I remember me and my brother would watch 'Beavis and Butthead' or 'South Park,' but we'd be all secret about it because we didn't want our dad to know. And then before I know it, I'm in fourth grade and me, my brother, and my dad are watching 'South Park' together.
There's an actual physiological thing that happens to me on tour. There's that moment where I sit in my seat and click the seatbelt, and five seconds later I fall asleep.
Laughing, how can you fall asleep? It brings a state of no-mind and no-thought, and does not allow you to fall asleep.
If I should fall asleep and death takes me away, Don't be surprised son, I wasn't put here to stay.
The Postal is a ruthless, Mad TV-type thing. We sent out a DVD to the South Park producers, and they liked the movie so much that we can say now, "It's like South Park with real actors" on the trailers and posters.
For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.
I guess that compared to other comic strips, I'm edgy. But put me along something like 'South Park,' and I'm 'Captain Kangaroo.'
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