A Quote by Stephen Colbert

They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am. — © Stephen Colbert
They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.
A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain.
Sometimes I don't tell the truth, which is telling the truth about not telling the truth. I think people don't tell the truth when they're afraid that something bad's going to happen if they tell the truth. I say things all the time that I could really get into trouble for, but they kind of blow over.
I guess I'm pretty much of a lone wolf. I don't say I don't like people at all, but, to tell you the truth, I only like it then if I have a chance to look deep into their hearts and their minds.
The panelists on To Tell The Truth, which is the one that I really knew, they cared about getting it right. They wanted to guess, you know? Although, when I was on as a contestant, the one time I was on as a contestant, apparently they had a rule, which was that when children were on, everybody would get a vote - and Kitty Carlisle voted for me.
I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults, who, at best, know only a fraction of what they say. The reason is simply that children know everything with their whole beings, while we know it only with our heads.
Only children tell the whole truth, you know. That's what makes them children.
People tell me I am brave. People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him. Feed His sheep, do unto the least of His people.
All I could say was, "I don't know what to do." I remember her taking me by the shoulders and looking me in the eye with a calm smile and saying simply, "Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth.
People say that you always have to tell the truth. But they do not mean this because you are not allowed to tell old people that they are old and you are not allowed to tell people if they smell funny or if a grown-up has made a fart. And you are not allowed to say, 'I don't like you,' unless that person has been horrible to you.
Tell all the Truth but tell it slant-- Success in Circuit lies Too bright for our infirm Delight The Truth's superb surprise As Lightning to the Children eased With explanation kind The Truth must dazzle gradually Or every man be blind--
But we never tell the truth. We cannot properly 'tell' the truth, because our words are crude tools to express something, 'the truth', which may well exist, but which we cannot define.
The only people that ever stand up and tell the truth are who? Intelligence officers. Because our culture is, never break faith with the truth. We'll tell you, you don't have to drag it out of us.
I don't really like saying "the gays"... I'm not sure why. I suppose I say "the Jews." but I don't say "the blacks." I guess because I'm a Jew for all intents and purposes and to group people together of which I am not one in such a casual way feels disrespectful.
Drunkards of summer are quite as frequent as Drunkards of wine.
I would say I am viewed as the oldest teenager in my family because they say I never grow old. I mean, I am stern in my own way - I am not one to let children run over me - but I am very, very good with children, and I can usually get what I want out of them.
Being a mom has been the greatest job of my life. I am so proud of the people my children are. I can't really say why they've turned out so well. I think there's an enormous amount of honesty and communication in our home. I always tell my kids they can tell me anything and I will never judge them. Consequently, they do!
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