A Quote by Stephen Colbert
?You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner!
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When I was nine or 10, I remember having a dinner party at my mum and dad's house. I wanted to have a Thanksgiving dinner because I'd watched so many films that had Thanksgiving in it and I thought: 'Why do we not celebrate this?' So I cooked this big Thanksgiving dinner for probably 10 people and I wouldn't let anybody help me.
You
cannot assume that somebody can define you. You cannot
assume that the other person is right. No matter how they
say it to you, no matter with how much force they say, ‘Oh
my god, you’ll never make it; oh my god, you’re not bright;
you could never do this’—that’s one person. I can’t tell you
how many people told me I would never be an actor.
I never have time to cook, so I just look through the books and imagine the dishes I would make if I wasn't going out for a business dinner.
Hillary Clinton is a tough person. She's diplomatic, and I would've felt safe with her as the president. Now we have an individual who doesn't know the diplomatic process and refuses to learn it. Even President Trump's campaign slogan, "Make America Great Again," is a very offensive statement. Only a person who has never studied American history would say "great again." It took us a very long time to get to the progressive nature we're at. We still have a great deal of work to do.
If you would have told me when I was 24 years old, right before I went with Coach Carroll to USC, you're going to get to be the offensive coordinator for Pete Carroll and then offensive coordinator for Nick Saban, arguably maybe the two best coaches in all of football by the time you're 40 years old, I would have said, 'Where do I sign up?'
Every time I'm in the studio, I always think of my professor in undergrad. He was like, "There are so many artists in the world. If you're going to be an artist, make sure you have something to say. Don't just be an artist and put out bullshit. Have something to say." I guess that would be my philosophy and something I think about all the time. Every day when I'm in the studio I hear him and I see him. I remember him saying it in class. So that's something that I always want to make sure I have: I'm saying something with the work.
The best reason to paint is that there is no reason to paint... I'd like to pretend that I've never seen anything, never read anything, never heard anything... and then make something... Every time I make something I think about the people who are going to see it and every time I see something, I think about the person who made it... Nothing is important... so everything is important.
Every night at dinner, my father would say something about the greatness of the United States - and tell us to make sure the government is there for the next people who come along and need it.
It is curious, isn't it, that things you know well never look dirty and dilapidated-other people's old furniture looks shabby and moth-eaten. “I would never have that horrible old couch in my room,” you say. But your own old couch is every bit as bad and you are not disgusted with its appearance; it is your friend, you see, and you remember it when it was new and smart. Friends that you have known for a long time and love very dearly never seem to grow old.
I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny.
In conversation the game is, to say something new with old words. And you shall observe a man of the people picking his way along, step by step, using every time an old boulder, yet never setting his foot on an old place.
When you live with a woman you learn something every day. So far I have learned that long hair will clog up the shower drain befor you can say "Liquid-Plumr"; that it is not advisable to clip something out of the newspaper before your wife has read it, even if the newspaper in question is a week old; that I am the only person in our two-person household who can eat the same thing for dinner three nights in a row without pouting; and that headphones were invented to preserve spouses from each other's musical excesses.
In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.
When I was about nine years old, I announced to my mother that I was going to cook Thanksgiving dinner. And I went to the library and got this whole pile of books. I'd love to say it all turned out great. It didn't. But, sort of, from that point on, whenever there was serious cooking at home, I was the one who did it.
You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.
I certainly would never presume to play another race of a person. Diversity is important in Hollywood, and I would never want to feel like I was playing a character that was offensive.
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