A Quote by Stephen Colbert

There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.
I was broke for more than 10 years. I remember staying up all night one night at my first company and looking in couch cushions the next morning for some change to buy coffee.
My couch is made of cat's hair. The cushions have been obscured, and it's made of salt-and-pepper fur. I can't have visitors. I can't ask people to sit on that couch because they become implicated in the furriness of it, and they're walking around, and it's not fair to people.
I'm a loser on Sunday. Yeah, I'm a couch potato. I get up and try and eat and then back on the couch. And watch anything.
I remember a night when I was living in Swindon on my own, and I couldn't sit on the couch because there were two cushions, and I couldn't sit equally between them.
When you look at a couch you don't really see the couch. You see the couch as perceived by a state of mind.
The value of a dollar is to buy just things; a dollar goes on increasing in value with all the genius and all the virtue of the world. A dollar in a university is worth more than a dollar in a jail; in a temperate, schooled, law-abiding community than in some sink of crime, where dice, knives, and arsenic are in constant play.
All those years on the psychiatrist's couch and suddenly the couch is moving. Good God, she is on that couch when the big one hits. Maidy didn't tell you, but you know what her doctor said? She sprang from the couch and said, "My God, was that an earthquake?" The doctor said this: "Did it feel like an earthquake to you?
A New York audience generally likes decorative paintings, and decorative paintings go with the couch. If you change the couch, you change the painting. And when you're coming up, and the paintings aren't first-class decoration, you're at a disadvantage for publicity and sales.
O, nothing is more alluring than a levee from a couch in some confusion.
When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.
I might have 'couch syndrome.' I'm always sleeping on the couch at home, even when I have a comfortable bed. I'm used to it.
I'm still the person on my friend's couch, and I'd like to own the couch.
I've never had a couch that needed to be cleaned or learned how to couch-clean in general. That feels too grown-up.
I have an 'office,' technically. I never use it. I work on a couch in my living room, with my laptop on my lap, looking out the windows. I love space and green things. And I'm an incredibly casual person. I slouch. I close the laptop and just lie on the couch for a while if I need to think. I put my feet up on a table while I type.
For me, I went from showering at the YMCA in L.A., eating chicken sandwiches and ramen noodles if lucky, and going from couch to couch. I'm a real story. I know the struggle.
I'm obsessed with my couch. I have the greenest couch on the planet.
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