I needed somebody to love me, and the people that I chose were my coaches. I would sacrifice my body to be successful for my coaches because I wanted them to love me, to respect me, to have positive feelings about me.
I wanted to be an actor ever since I was five. My grandparents - my mom's parents in New York - were stage actors. I think indirectly I wanted to do it because of them. My grandfather would tell me stories about Tennessee Williams and actors he worked with in New York. He had such a respect for acting and such a love for storytelling about that world. I grew up hearing him tell tales of it.They were never encouraging me or discouraging me to take part. They were always feeding me with theater.
My grandad and mom would drive me to training all the time, and from then - around seven to eight - coaches were telling me I had something special and needed to stick with it.
I feel so fortunate to have great coaching. Coaches that have taught me great habits and taught me great things about basketball and life, but I've always played for coaches who have held me accountable and that's made me a better player and person.
Now, about that mulatto teacher and me. There was no love there for each other. There was not even respect. We were enemies if anything. He hated me, and I knew it, and he knew I knew it. I didn't like him, but I needed him, needed him to tell me something that none of the others could or would.
I was born in an odd spot and was a very sensitive kid. My feelings could get hurt so easily because I always wanted to be loved, I wanted to be touched, I wanted to touch somebody. I wanted everybody to love me, so I think I was louder than I should have been. I was just trying to get attention. I always felt like I was somebody special, maybe it's because I needed to be somebody special.
Coaches would have me in the gym do 1,000 kicks for a practice. I would do them until everyone was gone, until I had done all my kicks. People asked me why I would do it - that's stupid. But my coach told me to do something like that, and I knew it would benefit me, and I would do it.
A Christian is the dwelling place of the living God. He created me, he chose me, He came to dwell in me, because he wanted me. Now that you have known how much God is in love with you it is but natural that you spend the rest of your life radiating that love.
Love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, I'll be anybody you want me to be. Use me. Change me. I can be thin with big breasts and big hair. Take me apart. Make me into anything, but just love me.
I speak to black and ethnic coaches who ring me, or write to me, for some advice. There is a frustration from a lot of young, very able, black coaches to find that pathway that will get them into full-time positions.
Even if I overcompensate, nobody will ever want me. Not Seth. Not my folks. You can’t kiss someone who has no lips. Oh, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me. I’ll be anybody you want me to be
I get asked a lot about my legacy. For me, it's being a good teammate, having the respect of my teammates, having the respect of the coaches and players. That's important to me.
My coaches - and even my parents - wanted to give me the space for exploration to see what I could do. Or even to see what I couldn't do and what I would want to learn how to do. It was always about inspiring me and giving me that freedom that you would want in childhood.
When ROH came to me, they made it very clear they wanted me on their team. It wasn't a case of them finding me, I chose them. I knew they were the company for me.
I love it when coaches don't talk about which position they see me at. When they just refer to me as a basketball player and talk about all of the different positions they can see me playing in, I definitely listen more.
The players and the coaches have been my soft landing spot, and those men and their acceptance of me and the respect they've shown to me on the air, that has changed fans' opinion of me.
Acting coaches in Hollywood were always telling me to use my hands and body more. But that was never me. I just breathe and sometimes it doesn't look as if I'm doing that.