A Quote by Steven Pacey
Being a judge is sometimes like raising children: litigants get the time they need, not necessarily the time they want, and you have to earn people's respect by communicating to them that you're going to listen, follow the law and make a fair decision.
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I will miss the contact with the people - the privilege of trying to communicate to people every day that the court system is going to work for them the way it's supposed to work. That doesn't guarantee they're going to get the result they want, but the court is going to listen and follow the law and try to make a fair decision. That is an awesome privilege and responsibility I will miss.
I made a conscious decision that I was not going to have children. I didn't want others raising them, and looking after them myself would get in the way of being a musician and writer.
You want a judge who makes objective decisions, and that's why temperament is such an important component of being a judge. You have to earn people's respect, because they know that you are deciding the case based on the facts and the law, not because they're trying to be your friend.
If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It's very important to be aware of them every time they come up.
When I talk to kids, I often tell them, "I'm going to disappoint you someday. I won't be worth my salt as a judge if I don't render at least one decision that makes you unhappy. Because if I'm following the law - and I don't write them - there has to be some decision you won't like. Please don't judge any person by one act. Take from them the good and don't concentrate on the little things that make you unhappy." That's my approach to family and friends, too.
Being in relationship is not living in a fantasyland and don`t think that everything's going to be perfect all the time. You will go through phases where you're just not getting along. You're not communicating well. That's going to happen, and it's going to feel impossible to you sometimes. It might not even make sense to you sometimes. Arguments are normal. You have to be patient and sit through that and remember that this is a part of human communication and interaction. You're going to have these conflicts with anyone. It's not necessarily just that person.
What occurred to me on [‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’], and also with the passing of her mother, is that there's going to come a time when I'm not going to get to be with this person anymore. I'm not going to get to be with my children anymore. Or friends, people I love and respect. And so, if we have a flare-up, it evaporates now. I don't want to waste time being angry at someone I love.
Being liked by the boys and girls on the bus doesn't necessarily earn you the respect of the people back home. Standing up to them, giving as good as you get, all that helps.
Depending on whom you ask, time is money, time is love, time is work, time is play, time is enjoying friends, time is raising children, and time is much more. Time is what you make of it.
There is no quicker way to earn respect as a leader than being slow to speak. It is called listening and it plays a big role in what I call “The Law of Connection.” How will you know what is important to people unless you ask and listen to the answers? If you prove to be a leader who solicits feedback and pays attention to what’s being said, then you will earn your connection and your followers will respect the guidance you give.
We want to raise the children the parents aren't raising. I think we want to press individuality on people, though that doesn't necessarily mean being like us. But, it doesn't mean that if you come dressed like us that you aren't being yourself.
It is important to communicate to children about what we are going through. We often speak in half truths. We don't frame the truth or explain our experience in terms they can understand. We need to take time to do this. What has to happen is that more people have to get involved with more children. Focus energy on the child. Children are raising themselves these days in all sorts of strange ways.
First, I only get earthen lamps during Diwali, and I urge everyone to do so, so that people who make these diyas can earn money and have a good Diwali. Also, I celebrate the festival with special children. I take homemade sweets for them like halwa or jaggery and spend some time with them.
I don't know how a judge can concentrate on being fair and impartial when he or she is faced with possible jail time for making a decision that others deem incorrect.
I like to be with my children - not just quality time, but quantity time. I like to be there in the morning when they're waking up. I like to practice piano with them. I like to be there at supper. I need them as much as they need me. Working is not as important to me as being a mother is.
Raising children with an emphasis on intrinsic rewards is not a technique, a method or a trick to get them to do what the parent wants them to by subtler means, but a way of life, a way of living with children with real respect for their intelligence and for their being.
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