A Quote by Steven Wright

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Steven Wright

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Bread Butter Hardness Proportional Softness

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Steven Wright
American - Comedian
Born: December 6, 1955

Sometimes one sees people butter their slices of bread with long, slow, admiring strokes in the same way in which Tom Sawyer's friends whitewashed the fence. Never butter an entire slice of bread at one time.

Mary Elizabeth Clark

I like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. In a dream world, the bread is super soft, like the Wonder Bread of my childhood, and the sandwich will have crunchy peanut butter, strawberry jam, and a cup of cold milk to go with it.

Shaun King

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.

J. B. Smoove

I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head.

Theodore Roosevelt

The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and His compulsion is our liberation.

C. S. Lewis

Justice must be blind to the hardness or softness of a man's hands, as well as to the leanness or fatness of his pocketbook

B. C. Forbes

Water is the softest thing, yet it can penetrate mountains and earth. This shows clearly the principle of softness overcoming hardness.

Laozi

Hardness of heart is a dreadful quality, but it is doubtful whether in the long run it works more damage than softness of head.

Theodore Roosevelt

If you have extraordinary bread and extraordinary butter, it's hard to beat bread and butter.

Jacques Pepin

If any of you wish to know how to have your bread fall butter side up, butter it on both sides, and then it will fall butter side up.

Brigham Young

Toast is bread made delicious and useful. Un-toasted bread is okay for children's sandwiches and sopping up barbecue sauce, but for pretty much all other uses, toast is better than bread. An exception is when the bread is fresh from the oven, piping hot, with butter melting all over it. Then it's fantastic, but I would argue that bread fresh out of the oven is a kind of toast. Because I'm an asshole and I refuse to be wrong about something.

Steve Albini

If we give someone a piece of bread and butter, that's kindness, but if we put jelly or peanut butter on it, then it's Loving Kindness.

Barbara Johnson

I don't know what you think of me. And you certainly would never picture us together. But probably peanut butter was just peanut butter for a long time, before someone ever thought of pairing it with jelly. And there was salt, but it started to taste better when there was pepper. And what's the point of butter without bread? (Why are all these examples of FOODS?!!?!?!?!?!?!) Anyway by myself I'm nothing special. But with you I could be.

Jodi Picoult

I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.

Janet Evanovich

Good bread is the most fundamentally satisfying of all foods; and good bread with fresh butter, the greatest of feasts.

James Beard

As for bread, I count that for nothin'. We always have bread and potatoes enough; but I hold a family to be in a desperate way when the mother can see the bottom of the pork barrel. Give me children that's raised on good sound pork afore all the game in the country. Game's good as a relish and so's bread; but pork is the staff of life... My children I calkerlate to bring up on pork with just as much bread and butter as they want.

James F. Cooper

A Quote by Steven Wright

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