A Quote by Steven Wright

When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.

Steven Wright

Quote Topics

Fetus Figured Fingerprints Had Mother Night Out Should Sleeping Sneak Start Stealing Still Stuff Used While

Quote Author

Steven Wright
American - Comedian
Born: December 6, 1955

My mother used to do all the things that were important to her after midnight. ... Sometimes I'd sneak downstairs and see her knitting, or reading, or writing letters. I'd think of her as a thief, stealing the tail end of the day, the hours nobody else wanted or used.

Marita Golden

I had a very difficult relationship with my mother. She used to wake me up in the middle of the night if I wasn't sleeping straight and was messing up the sheets. Now when I stay in hotels I sleep so straight they don't even think I've used the bed.

Marina Abramovic

Well...I'm on birth control" I was drinking the water again and choked on it. It took several moments of coughing before I could gasp out. "What?" "It takes a while for it to start working, so I figured I should be prepared, just in case." "Just in case," I repeated, still dumbfounded.

Richelle Mead

My sleeping bag is affixed to a wall and I climb inside and sort of float around in the sleeping bag at night while I'm sleeping.

Shannon Walker

Stealing things is everybody's problem. We [Apple Inc.] own a lot of intellectual property, and we don't like when people steal it. So people are stealing stuff and we're optimists. We believe that 80 percent of the people stealing stuff don't want to be; there's just no legal alternative.

Steve Jobs

Some of the first questions that people ask new moms is, 'Is your baby sleeping through the night yet?' or 'Are you still breastfeeding?' and if their baby is sleeping through the night or still breastfeeding and yours isn't, you immediately judge yourself and want to know what they are doing to get yourself on the same page.

Whitney Port

I lived in small town out in the desert and my friend used to steal his mom's car in the middle of the night. He'd drive over to my house, I'd sneak out and we'd go out to the desert and just burn things down.

Mark Hoppus

I never went to school for that. In high school we had photography, which was great. That was another moment of discovery. I had a great teacher - I can't even remember her name now. I ended up going to boarding school for my last high school years and they had a dark room there. Of course there was curfew; you were supposed to be in bed at a certain time. But I would sneak out and sneak into the dark room and work all night.

Jeff Vespa

Sleepy Christian, let me shout in thine ears: thou are sleeping while souls are being lost, sleeping while men are being damned, sleeping while hell is being peopled, sleeping while Christ is being dishonored, sleeping while the devil is grinning at thy sleepy face, sleeping while demons are dancing round thy slumbering carcass, and telling it in hell that a Christian is asleep. You will never catch the devil asleep; let not the devil catch you asleep. Watch, and be sober, that ye may be always up to do your duty.

Charles Spurgeon

I never had a checkbook. It used to be cash in hand, stuff in the pocket, or a manager would keep some accounts and give me money. I started to wonder what it must feel like to actually make a profit, pay taxes, and to have a phone listing, and a manager. And also, I was sick of sleeping around every night.

Iggy Pop

You know, I used to live in Russia where you had officers in the military opening up the warehouses at night and taking weapons out and putting them into a truck and selling them to foreign powers. That type of stuff doesn't happen in the United States. We still have a very functioning and relatively civil society.

Matt Taibbi

I used to stay up at night and sneak into the TV room, past my parents, who were asleep, to watch Saturday Night's 'Main Event.' That's how I started watching SNL. On accident.

Andy Samberg

The reality is, there's still so much we haven't yet figured out. There's still so much stuff that has not been made more, frankly, efficient.

Alexis Ohanian

I used to be a big planner and had to have things figured out ahead of time, but I'm learning to love living in the moment. Last night, I called my friend up randomly and said, 'Where are you? I want to come see you!' It's not a new version of me. I'm just embracing it more.