A Quote by Steven Wright

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?" — © Steven Wright
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.
The chicken did not cross the road. The road passed beneath the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's a goddamn chicken he doesn't know what the **** he's doing
I went up on stage, and said, "Why did the chicken cross the road? To check out the chicks." I was a genius at 10. Try telling that at 21, and you look hacky and stupid. That was the only joke I've ever told. Everything since has been character voices, doing impressions or just telling stories.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done.
After I’d told her – the mall, the taxi, Cross stroking my hair – she said, ‘Did he kiss you?’ ‘John and Martin totally would have seen that,’ I said, and as I felt myself implying the circumstances had prevented our kissing, I thought maybe this was why you told stories to other people – for how their possibilities enlarged in the retelling.
I love chicken. I love chicken products: fried chicken, roasted chicken, chicken nuggets - whatever. And going to Japan, I would see that these chicken were smoked and then grilled and then have this amazing crispy skin.
I told my mom I was going to do a movie about a son who hears a story about his mom and takes her on a cross-country road trip, and I wanted to actually take the trip with my mom to see what it would be like to drive cross-country with your mom.
I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
In the Cross is salvation; in the Cross is life; in the Cross is protection against our enemies; in the Cross is infusion of heavenly sweetness; in the Cross is strength of mind; in the Cross is joy of spirit; in the Cross is excellence of virtue; in the Cross is perfection of holiness. There is no salvation of soul, nor hope of eternal life, save in the Cross.
As anyone who even remotely knows me, I will eat chicken with some chicken, and maybe more chicken. Chicken done any which way, basically.
Never forget that the road to Heaven is the Way of the Cross. Jesus has called us to follow Him, bearing the Cross as He did.
My first sport was volleyball, and then somebody told me about cross-country. They said it was outdoors, coed, and everybody got to participate. And I said, 'That is the sport for me!'
Roasted chicken, boiled chicken, smoked chicken, fried chicken, I love them all!
I'm sorry about yesterday," she said. He hung on to his straps and shrugged. "Yesterday happens.
I love the road. That's always been my goal. I've said that to many record labels. I want to make records. The road is my favorite. Some people hate the road, I love the road.
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