A Quote by Steven Wright

I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman. — © Steven Wright
I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.
We love being in love, that's the truth on't. If we had not met Joan, we should have met Kate, and adored her. We know our mistresses are no better than many other women, nor no prettier, nor no wiser, nor no wittier. 'Tis not for these reasons we love a woman, or for any special quality or charm I know of; we might as well demand that a lady should be the tallest woman in the world, like the Shropshire giantess, as that she should be a paragon in any other character, before we began to love her.
Looking into Linda's eyes when she walks down the aisle, and knowing that's the lady I'm going to be with for the rest of my life. I'm going to be crying like a fool. But I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one for me.
'Chels-emojis' are in the works. I use emojis heavily in life, and I think a lot of people do. There are a number that are frustratingly absent - you know how there's kind of a generic white man and a generic white woman? I just want to put a generic black man and a generic black woman.
Late-night television is like the cereal aisle in the supermarket: too many choices. Also, too many 'different' brands that really aren't different at all.
Lady Gaga is phenomenal. From the first day I met her, she was lightning in a bottle.
I doubt I'll ever retire, but if I do, I see myself as the little old Parisian lady pushing her trolley from the supermarket to her apartment. Everyone needs a pipe dream.
Rule Number One for working for a white lady, Minny: it is nobody’s business. You keep your nose out of your White Lady’s problems, you don’t go crying to her with yours—you can’t pay the light bill? Your feet are too sore? Remember one thing: white people are not your friends. They don’t want to hear about it. And when Miss White Lady catches her man with the lady next door, you keep out of it, you hear me?
The perfect woman, you see [is] a working-woman; not an idler; not a fine lady; but one who [uses] her hands and her head and her heart for the good of others.
The Law of the Generic: One of the fastest routes to failure is giving a brand a generic name.
Today President Obama is in the Middle East. He met the new king of Saudi Arabia. Obama also met Saudi Arabia's first lady, the second lady, third lady, and fourth lady.
She only maintains that it is possible, under some circumstances, for a lady to murder her husband; but that a woman who wears ankle-strap shoes and smokes on the street corner, though she may be a joy to all who know her and have devoted her life to charity, could never qualify as a lady.
It's like everyone I have dinner with, I'm having an affair with. Who was it I met the other day? Minnie Driver! She seems charming, but that's the only time I've met her.
Lady Jaye dressed me in her clothes the first day we met. The love we had was so strong, we wished we could become one. Then we thought, 'Why shouldn't we?'
A couple of weeks after the Olympics, I thought I'd pop down to my local supermarket and do some grocery shopping. One person came up to me in the frozen food aisle, and that was it. I was mobbed, and I had to leave my shopping. Now, I either shop online or go very late at night when the supermarket's nearly empty.
The free-from aisle is the most depressing place in the supermarket.
Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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