A Quote by Steven Wright

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? — © Steven Wright
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.
Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels, and their bath towels look like a collection of knitting mistakes.
What I've always wished I'd invented was paper underwear, even knowing that the idea never took off when they did come out with it. I still think it's a good idea, and I don't know why people resist it when they've accepted paper napkins and paper plates and paper curtains and paper towels-it would make more sense not to have to wash out underwear than not to have to wash out towels.
There are two ways to wash the dishes. One way is to wash them to get them clean. The other way is to wash them in order to wash the dishes.
They always gives me bath salts," complained Nobby. "And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you?
If life has not made you by God's grace, through faith, holy--think you, will death without faith do it? The cold waters of that narrow stream are no purifying bath in which you may wash and be clean. No! no! as you go down into them, you will come up from them.
I use bath gloves in the shower every day. People often comment on my skin and I just tell them that I use bath gloves.
When you go into a person's house, and you smell that wash of cat smell, it's the human's fault, not the cat's. Cats want everything to be clean around them. They want where they live to be clean, they clean themselves, they want a clean litter box.
[On growing up in a large family with little money:] ... to take a bath ... we just had a pan of water and we'd wash down as far as possible, and we'd wash up as far as possible. Then, when somebody'd clear the room, we'd wash possible.
Another thing I also recommend is washing your face with white towels, little white towels instead of your hands. Other towels have dye in them and, with water on them, I just don't mess around with that. This way you're not getting your hands back on your dirty face as you're washing it. You're going to see what's coming off.
My sheets had never been so clean as they had in the past few months. I hardly got them on again before something else happened and I was feverishly ripping them off and stuffing them in the wash with double amounts of soap and all the "extra" buttons pushed: extra wash, extra rinse, extra water, extra spin, extra protection against things that go bump in the night.
I don't work. I keep telling people I'm unemployed. And I don't wash dishes, and I don't wash clothes, and I don't clean my house. Somebody else does that.
I wash my face with soap and water. I use whatever I have. I will even wash my hair with the hotel shampoo, so I don't use anything special. I try to keep it simple.
My favorite face wash is Aveeno Foaming Face Wash, and I get it at CVS or Rite Aid. It's the best. It gets off makeup, but it's not drying, and you feel clean.
Let water wash our bodies clean, and love wash our souls.
I wash my face at night for sure. If I've had makeup, on I wash it twice. And now that I'm old, I use the Rapid Repair moisturizer, which has all the stuff in it - retinol, alpha, whatever, all of it. And I do use a Neutrogena eye cream, which I didn't used to.
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