A Quote by Steven Wright
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
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I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!
What I like about a dog it stops people getting after you, they're not going to come round in the night. But they make the place stink because I might want to stay out a few days and when I get back I might want to stay in a few days and a dog can become a tyrant to you.
I tucked him in with his stuffed-animal pet dog—cleverly named Dog-Dog, by the way.
You've got to keep a dog with you at all times. A dog cannot roam. You've got to keep him in the house with you. You can't have a wild dog and expect days to go good.
Why did it happen? The big dog got fed. And when the big dog was fed, the little dog even got some meat in there, too. Big dog owns the domain, but the little dog can go wherever he wants.
If a dog is biting a black man, the black man should kill the dog, whether the dog is a police dog or a hound dog or any kind of dog. If a dog is fixed on a black man when that black man is doing nothing but trying to take advantage of what the government says is supposed to be his, then that black man should kill that dog or any two-legged dog who sets the dog on him.
A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door; the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, He's back. It's that guy, that same guy. He can't believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog. Another can of food? I don't believe it.
We used to have a dog named Snoopy, you know, a real live dog. I suppose people who love Snoopy won't like it, but we gave him away. He fought with other dogs, so we traded him in for a load of gravel.
A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"
A dominant dog can get another dog to move out of its way just by the energy it projects. You can tell a lot about a dog's position in the pack by how they hold themselves around other dogs. When reading a dog's body language, you can't do it intellectually. You can only do it by using your instincts.
I Instagram and tweet a lot about my dog. I think he is one of the most interesting things about my life right now. All my motherly instincts go toward this dog. I love the dog.
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
Take personal responsibility. A lot of people go, 'Well, I'll get a dog because I have a kid and a kid needs a dog.' And it doesn't work out for that dog and the dog is on the street.
They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!
The excuse of having a dog is great, because before I had a dog, I wouldn't be like, 'I need to go hike for two hours'; my girlfriend would have been like, 'What are you doing?' Now I take the dog, and she comes with me.
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